Plasticize Me

Cosmetic surgery is very big in Korea. Ads for plastic surgery in the subway are common (and rather gruesome). On our walk to the subway, we can see recent patients outside the hospital, enjoying a smoke while still attached to their IV drip. The BBC described the phenomenon as early as 2001. Common procedures for women are calf reduction, eye widening, and nose jobs, bowing to the Western ideals of beauty. Curiously, I believe breast implants are relatively uncommon.

Now, I never considered myself a candidate for plastic surgery . . . until today. I was discussing the form of dates with the children, and as an example I used December 7, 1941.

Me: "Does anyone know what happened on December 7, 1941?"

Student: "You were born?"

As I apparently look 67 years old, I'll be heading under the knife soon.

How Crap is Music in Korea? Part 2

Today while walking to the bank, I passed by a store playing "Rainy Days and Mondays" by the Carpenters, one of the worst songs ever by one of the worst bands ever. Then, in the bank, they were playing a Britney Spears Christmas song. Remember, this is still the Northern Hemisphere, so it's not winter in July or anything like that.

Want Some Cheese With That Whine?

Today my kids started the day off poorly as each kid received a 60% on the weekly review test, which means detention (called P.M.T. at my school). Then, they proceeded to complain throughout the day about how the classroom was too cold due to the air conditioner.

Our topic of discussion today was allergies, so the critical thinking project was to devise and write about a new allergen that would only affect children. I knew EXACTLY where this was going so I told them that school, teachers, homework, tests, and P.M.T. were NOT suitable allergens.

So, they invented the "air conditioner allergy."

From Each, According to His Ability; To Each, According to His Needs

In recent days I've taught a couple of classes about North Korean refugees. The kids here have a fairly decent grasp of North Korean affairs. When you ask them about their neighbors to the North, almost all of the students will mention that everyone gets paid the same amount of money no matter what they do. I would imagine that they are routinely taught that the old Marxist maxim "from each, according to his abilities; to each, according to his needs" is antithetical to the work ethic demanded by a highly competitive capitalist society like South Korea.

I'm not sure I have the heart to tell them about the existence, even in capitalist countries, of silver-spoon fed dimwits who succeed on the strength of ill-gotten family wealth and connections despite idiocy, indolence, and intoxication.

What's in a Name?

When I was in French class many years ago, we got to select French nicknames. In grade school, I was known as François, while in high school, I adopted the nom de plume Jérôme. As you can tell, I like names with goofy French letters.

Similarly, most of our kids have English nicknames in our classes. They tend to be common names like Sally, James, Catherine, or Eric. We have, however, had some odd ones:


- Big Bang
- V.I.P.
- Barry Bonz
- Conian (this was frustrating because I suggested the perfectly good name "Melissa" for her)
- Obama
- Ophelia (strange, but cool)
- Routine
- Feedback
- Triple X
- Leonardo da Vinci

I got a new kid in my class today, and to my delight he asked me to give him an English name. Now, I could have been creative, like a former co-worker who named a girl in his class "Gogimandu" (Korean for "pork dumpling"). However, I went with Aiden, because it's unique in our school, and yet still far more normal than "Barry Bonz."

More bizarre children's names to be posted as they enroll.

Same ****, different day.

This happened again.

Renegades of Funk

Before class today I was listening to Renegades of Funk by Rage Against the Machine. One of my students came in early, and I asked him if he was familiar with RATM. Unsurprisingly, he was not. I then asked him what type of music he liked. He responded, "Christian music."

The conversation pretty much ended right there.