In North Korea, they developed a calendar based on the birthday of the Great Leader, Kim Il-sung. The calendar starts on April 15, 1912.
So remember: it's not 2010, it's Juche 99!
Somebody, PLEASE buy me the "Party Like It's Juche 99" t-shirt . . .
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
The Best of 2009
Today, on New Year's Eve (in Korea) I present the Top 10 entries from Live From The 38th Parallel from 2009, as voted by you, the readers.
Ok, the last part was a lie.
10. Jeju Island (Day 1) (Day 2)
9. Out of Time
8. I Break Up a Fight
7. (Tie) What's in a Name? / With a Name Like . . .
6. April Fooling
5. Max's Visit: Season Finale (Part 1) (Part 2)
4. Team HoMo
3. B**** Boys
2. Seongnam IFC Away
And the Number One blog entry of the year . . .
The Best "That's What She Said" Joke Ever
Ok, the last part was a lie.
10. Jeju Island (Day 1) (Day 2)
9. Out of Time
8. I Break Up a Fight
7. (Tie) What's in a Name? / With a Name Like . . .
6. April Fooling
5. Max's Visit: Season Finale (Part 1) (Part 2)
4. Team HoMo
3. B**** Boys
2. Seongnam IFC Away
And the Number One blog entry of the year . . .
The Best "That's What She Said" Joke Ever
Little Kids Smell Bad
I wanted to think of a nicer title than this, but I couldn't. Seriously, within minutes of the start of my first class, my classroom already smelled like a Russian whorehouse four months into the Battle of Stalingrad.
To all the parents out there, for the olfactory sake of the teachers of the world, I beg you to make sure your kids bathe every day.
To all the parents out there, for the olfactory sake of the teachers of the world, I beg you to make sure your kids bathe every day.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Even Ebenezer Scrooge Didn't Make Bob Cratchit Work on Christmas
So, I'm sitting in my classroom on Christmas Day. It's 12:50 PM, and I've got class in 10 minutes. I'm hoping none of my kids show up. I mean, Korean parents do a number of terrible things to their children, as I've blogged about here and here, but if any of my kids are forced to go to English academy on Christmas, I'm recommending emancipation.
Epilogue: As I wrote this, four children showed up.
Epilogue: As I wrote this, four children showed up.
Recipe for Homesickness
- Christmas Eve
- The family tradition of opening one present on Christmas Eve
- That one present being the traditional Christmas Lego I've gotten since I was two
- That Lego being a model of the Space Needle
- Watching our family's traditional Christmas film . . . Bad Santa
- The family tradition of opening one present on Christmas Eve
- That one present being the traditional Christmas Lego I've gotten since I was two
- That Lego being a model of the Space Needle
- Watching our family's traditional Christmas film . . . Bad Santa
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
If You Thought Fan Death Was Idiotic . . .
The other day, I was walking to the bank when I saw this sign:
I didn't think much of it at the time. I figured it was a clinic that administers growth hormones to severely vertically challenged youngsters, like FIFA's World Player of the Year.
That may not be the case:
South Korea Stretches Standards for Success (Thanks to Connie for the link.)
"Swayed by the increasingly popular conviction that height is crucial to success, South Korean parents are trying all manner of remedies to increase their children’s stature, spawning hundreds of growth clinics that offer hormone shots, traditional Eastern treatments and special exercises . . .
Kim Se-hyun, a fifth grader, walked on a treadmill with her torso encased in a harness suspended from an overhead steel bar. The contraption, the clinic maintains, will stretch her spine and let her exercise with less pressure on her legs.
I didn't think much of it at the time. I figured it was a clinic that administers growth hormones to severely vertically challenged youngsters, like FIFA's World Player of the Year.
That may not be the case:
South Korea Stretches Standards for Success (Thanks to Connie for the link.)
"Swayed by the increasingly popular conviction that height is crucial to success, South Korean parents are trying all manner of remedies to increase their children’s stature, spawning hundreds of growth clinics that offer hormone shots, traditional Eastern treatments and special exercises . . .
Kim Se-hyun, a fifth grader, walked on a treadmill with her torso encased in a harness suspended from an overhead steel bar. The contraption, the clinic maintains, will stretch her spine and let her exercise with less pressure on her legs.
Nearby, sweat rolled off Lee Dong-hyun, 13, as he pedaled a recumbent bicycle while reading a comic book. Behind him, his sister, Chae-won, the shortest girl in her first-grade class, stretched to touch her toes on a blue yoga mat, squealing as an instructor pushed down against her back."
Well, I just want to say that I'm appalled by this. To think, they jab needles into these kids, suspend them from the ceiling while they run on treadmills, stretch them on modern-day medieval torture racks, shove on their spines . . . and my parents did NONE of this for me! Thanks, Mom and Dad. Maybe if you weren't so stingy I'd be a success, instead of being forever limited by my 5'10" frame (that's 178 cm for people in lame countries).Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Suit Up!
When one walks around the "foreigner slum" of Itaewon (as one friend eloquently phrased it recently), one will notice a curious phenomenon. Everywhere, Korean gentlemen will ask you "custom-tailored suit?" I don't understand this business strategy. A suit is not an impulse purchase. When was the last time you said, "Oh, I hadn't considered it before, but I DO want to drop $400 on a whim." Furthermore, it's not like buying a bag of Doritos, which is the same whether you go to 7-11 or Safeway. Surely you wouldn't buy a suit from a guy you just met on the street.
Now, with James N. leaving soon, we decided we wanted suits, but not from any random guy who happens to know 3 words of English. We went with Bruce Jung at Dynasty, who came highly recommended by a couple of our friends. While we were there, a high-ranking UN officer at the DMZ was also getting a suit made, so we figured Bruce must be well respected.
The first time we went up, our measurements were taken and we selected styles and colors. James N. went with a striped dark grey. I chose a solid charcoal grey. We both went with three-piece suits because . . . well, if you need me to explain why, I don't want to be friends with you anymore. Cease reading my blog immediately.
The second week, they had just the bare bones of the suit for fitting. We were finally able to pick them up yesterday, just in time for the suit-themed holiday party. A nice touch was our names on the inside of the jackets . . . though mine ended in "sOn." D'oh.
Were the suits a success? You decide:
Now, with James N. leaving soon, we decided we wanted suits, but not from any random guy who happens to know 3 words of English. We went with Bruce Jung at Dynasty, who came highly recommended by a couple of our friends. While we were there, a high-ranking UN officer at the DMZ was also getting a suit made, so we figured Bruce must be well respected.
The first time we went up, our measurements were taken and we selected styles and colors. James N. went with a striped dark grey. I chose a solid charcoal grey. We both went with three-piece suits because . . . well, if you need me to explain why, I don't want to be friends with you anymore. Cease reading my blog immediately.
The second week, they had just the bare bones of the suit for fitting. We were finally able to pick them up yesterday, just in time for the suit-themed holiday party. A nice touch was our names on the inside of the jackets . . . though mine ended in "sOn." D'oh.
Were the suits a success? You decide:
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Blood Type-ology
When I was younger, I noticed an interesting fact about video games that came from Asia, particularly fighting games. If you looked at character profiles in, say, Street Fighter II, you'd notice the usual height and weight . . . but also blood type. I never really quite understood why it was relevant that Zangief was Type A.
This question came to mind today when one of my students asked me, "Teacher, what is your blood type?" I responded, truthfully, that I couldn't remember. The kids were surprised by this. What was even more surprising is that one student opined, "I think you are either A or O." I asked what made her think this, and she replied "the way your face looks."
This whole thing left me rather puzzled, so I did some research. It turns out that, according to Wikipedia, in Japanese culture blood types correspond to different personality types. This would appear to be the case in Korea as well, judging by the Korean film My Boyfriend is Type B.
Look at the list below. What do you think my blood type is? If you have access to my personal medical history, no cheating (Dad).
*Answer to be revealed when I remember.*
This question came to mind today when one of my students asked me, "Teacher, what is your blood type?" I responded, truthfully, that I couldn't remember. The kids were surprised by this. What was even more surprising is that one student opined, "I think you are either A or O." I asked what made her think this, and she replied "the way your face looks."
This whole thing left me rather puzzled, so I did some research. It turns out that, according to Wikipedia, in Japanese culture blood types correspond to different personality types. This would appear to be the case in Korea as well, judging by the Korean film My Boyfriend is Type B.
Look at the list below. What do you think my blood type is? If you have access to my personal medical history, no cheating (Dad).
*Answer to be revealed when I remember.*
| Type A | |
|---|---|
| Best traits | Earnest, creative, sensible |
| Worst traits | Fastidious, overearnest |
| Type B | |
| Best traits | Wild, active, doer |
| Worst traits | Selfish, irresponsible |
| Type AB | |
| Best traits | Cool, controlled, rational |
| Worst traits | Critical, indecisive |
| Type O | |
| Best traits | Agreeable, sociable, optimistic |
| Worst traits | Vain, rude |
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Thanks, SBS Sports
SBS Sports was supposed to show the Bolton-West Ham game at 7AM. In preparation, I borrowed a television, carried it to my apartment, went to bed early, and rose at the aforementioned time . . . only to find that they had aired the game at 5AM.
Of course, because I wasn't watching, we won 3-1 with Lee Chung-Yong scoring.
Of course, because I wasn't watching, we won 3-1 with Lee Chung-Yong scoring.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Insert Lame Pirate Joke Here
This weekend, we made yet another trek to Seoul. By my count, the 43rd this month. This one was for a sad occasion: our friend (and noraebang master) Lydia's departure. For reasons that remain unclear, this was a pirate-themed party. Kate, Alex, and I had stocked up on pirate gear at the costume shop, with Kate creatively opting for a parrot costume.
Before meeting up with that gang though, I headed with Jacob, Lon, and Lisa, for . . . well, that's a surprise. But afterward, we went to the Seoul branch of Gecko's, the Western Bar that had provided us with the majority of our sustenance on Jeju Island. After that we did what you do in Itaewon when you're a foreigner: bought books at What The Book? I swear I'm putting the owner's kids through college. Last week I dropped 26,000 won on Under the Loving Care of the Fatherly Leader: North Korea and the Kim Dynasty. This week, I parted with another 30,000 won for 2666. Oh well. Between the two books I've got 1,600 pages to read, which will help me pass the time during the cold Korean winter.
After buying a cigar from . . . uh . . . the Dominican Republic, I met up with the future pirate gang while Lon, Lisa, and Jacob headed to the National Museum. We dined at a fancy French restaurant, enjoying cheese and tapenade and other Gallic delicacies. I drink a piss-poor gin martini. The girls decided to head to Boondong to meet Lydia, while the boys were lazy and returned to Gecko's. There, a table of Korean ladies eyed us and eventually asked James N. for his number. Apparently texting the people at the table next to yours is the new thing in flirting.
We then received the call to head to the Grand Ole Opry, a country bar, and get into pirate garb. I rolled up my pants, revealing an awesome pair of striped socks. I shifted my belt to the outside of my shirt, donned a jaunty cap, and, cutlass in hand, proceeded to terrorize the bar. At this point, my friend Josh was able to burst free from the bonds of holy matrimony and join us.
We went upstairs to partake in beer pong. Yes, I know it's juvenile, but the first game of beer pong I ever played was in Korea at age 25 so I have some catching up to do. Josh and I dominated Melissa and Alex (no thanks to Josh); my hope is that I did not contract hepatitis from the balls that hit the bar floor and then went into my beer cup. At this point I started to notice that the people we encountered on the street and in the bars seemed curiously unfazed by our pirate get-up. I suppose compared to the 40-year-old Russian prostitute dressed like Lady Gaga at Gecko's we weren't that much of an attraction.
After one more sports bar (which wasn't showing sports - a sad fact due to the epic Bolton-Manchester City game that was going on at the time) we went our separate ways. Several people headed home. Alex and I were apparently temporarily insane, as we once again decided it was a good idea to hit the casino to kill time and catch the first KTX, despite regretting doing this every single time. Luckily (?), we never made it to the casino, instead ending up at the Canadian bar, where Melissa stared down a drunk Canuck twice her size. After grabbing some McDonald's breakfast, we headed home, once again cursing our idiocy when we awoke in Daejeon at 7 AM.
Before meeting up with that gang though, I headed with Jacob, Lon, and Lisa, for . . . well, that's a surprise. But afterward, we went to the Seoul branch of Gecko's, the Western Bar that had provided us with the majority of our sustenance on Jeju Island. After that we did what you do in Itaewon when you're a foreigner: bought books at What The Book? I swear I'm putting the owner's kids through college. Last week I dropped 26,000 won on Under the Loving Care of the Fatherly Leader: North Korea and the Kim Dynasty. This week, I parted with another 30,000 won for 2666. Oh well. Between the two books I've got 1,600 pages to read, which will help me pass the time during the cold Korean winter.
After buying a cigar from . . . uh . . . the Dominican Republic, I met up with the future pirate gang while Lon, Lisa, and Jacob headed to the National Museum. We dined at a fancy French restaurant, enjoying cheese and tapenade and other Gallic delicacies. I drink a piss-poor gin martini. The girls decided to head to Boondong to meet Lydia, while the boys were lazy and returned to Gecko's. There, a table of Korean ladies eyed us and eventually asked James N. for his number. Apparently texting the people at the table next to yours is the new thing in flirting.
We then received the call to head to the Grand Ole Opry, a country bar, and get into pirate garb. I rolled up my pants, revealing an awesome pair of striped socks. I shifted my belt to the outside of my shirt, donned a jaunty cap, and, cutlass in hand, proceeded to terrorize the bar. At this point, my friend Josh was able to burst free from the bonds of holy matrimony and join us.
We went upstairs to partake in beer pong. Yes, I know it's juvenile, but the first game of beer pong I ever played was in Korea at age 25 so I have some catching up to do. Josh and I dominated Melissa and Alex (no thanks to Josh); my hope is that I did not contract hepatitis from the balls that hit the bar floor and then went into my beer cup. At this point I started to notice that the people we encountered on the street and in the bars seemed curiously unfazed by our pirate get-up. I suppose compared to the 40-year-old Russian prostitute dressed like Lady Gaga at Gecko's we weren't that much of an attraction.
After one more sports bar (which wasn't showing sports - a sad fact due to the epic Bolton-Manchester City game that was going on at the time) we went our separate ways. Several people headed home. Alex and I were apparently temporarily insane, as we once again decided it was a good idea to hit the casino to kill time and catch the first KTX, despite regretting doing this every single time. Luckily (?), we never made it to the casino, instead ending up at the Canadian bar, where Melissa stared down a drunk Canuck twice her size. After grabbing some McDonald's breakfast, we headed home, once again cursing our idiocy when we awoke in Daejeon at 7 AM.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Unhealthier Than America: Fish/Burger Burger
When you think of massive artery-clogging gut-bombs, you think of the United States of America. After all, we invented the Krispy Kreme Burger, the Hungry-Man All-Day Breakfast, and the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. But as Takeru Kobayashi showed us, Americans do not have a monopoly on destroying their digestive tract. In this series, "Unhealthier than America," I'd like to highlight food I've found in Korea that would make even the fattest Arkansas hick blush. First up: Lotteria's "Birthday Burger."
As you may recall from my trip to Daegu, Lotteria is the Korean/Japanese McDonald's, and is an atrocity. As they are celebrating their 30th anniversary of serving burgers that taste like a Big Mac dipped in used fry grease, they have introduced a special "Birthday Burger." The hook? Half burger, half shrimp patty. This is easily one of the grossest things I've ever seen, and there's no way I'm buying one to get better pictures. I'm pretty sure this combo meal also includes a chicken burger, so you can vomit up THREE kinds of animal flesh (plus cheese sticks!) for just 12,300 won.
Lotteria, you are Unhealthier than America.
As you may recall from my trip to Daegu, Lotteria is the Korean/Japanese McDonald's, and is an atrocity. As they are celebrating their 30th anniversary of serving burgers that taste like a Big Mac dipped in used fry grease, they have introduced a special "Birthday Burger." The hook? Half burger, half shrimp patty. This is easily one of the grossest things I've ever seen, and there's no way I'm buying one to get better pictures. I'm pretty sure this combo meal also includes a chicken burger, so you can vomit up THREE kinds of animal flesh (plus cheese sticks!) for just 12,300 won.
Lotteria, you are Unhealthier than America.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Her Name Was Rora, She Was A Showgirl
A new term has just begun, and I've got a student named "Rora." I have no idea why. My best guess is that it was a botched attempt at "Lola." Compounding the problem is that there is another girl named "Laura" in the class, which sounds almost exactly the same when the students say it. Whatever its origin, it's been difficult to avoid bursting into "Copacabana" or calling her "Rora . . . R-O-R-A Rora."
Monday, November 30, 2009
LFT38P: Renewed For A Second Season
Indeed, this blog will continue past its planned expiry date, as I have decided to stick around in Korea. However, please note that I will only be here for six months, so this second season will be like the 2007-2008 Writer's Strike interrupted one, or one of those British shows where they produce 7 episodes, call it a "season," do a Christmas special, and then re-run it on PBS incessantly.
And in six months? Who knows . . .
And in six months? Who knows . . .
Lessons From The 찜질방
As you may recall, some months ago I took my first trip to the jjimjilbang when Max was visiting. While I've been since then, the trips have been infrequent. After football (the stupid kind) on Saturday and football (the good kind) on Sunday, I decided I could use some hot tub time. Here are some thoughts.
- I'm getting more and more used to Korea. The idea of walking around naked for an hour didn't phase me. Moreover, the sight of two naked Korean boys slapping each other on their arses hardly caused me to raise an eyebrow.
- The expression "rub salt in the wound" isn't just an expression. There's a sauna where you rub yourself with salt, probably to "exfoliate" or "cleanse" or some such girly nonsense. When the salt accidentally brushed my recent turf burn, it hurt like all get out.
- Don't go to the jjimjilbang at 7:30. Too many children. Some kid doing a cannonball into your hot tub is unpleasant.
- I need to go more often. I felt great after soaking for a while.
- I'm getting more and more used to Korea. The idea of walking around naked for an hour didn't phase me. Moreover, the sight of two naked Korean boys slapping each other on their arses hardly caused me to raise an eyebrow.
- The expression "rub salt in the wound" isn't just an expression. There's a sauna where you rub yourself with salt, probably to "exfoliate" or "cleanse" or some such girly nonsense. When the salt accidentally brushed my recent turf burn, it hurt like all get out.
- Don't go to the jjimjilbang at 7:30. Too many children. Some kid doing a cannonball into your hot tub is unpleasant.
- I need to go more often. I felt great after soaking for a while.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Hwæt!
Yesterday, the topic of the lesson was dragons. The book mentioned that Beowulf is a famous story that involves a dragon. I decided this was a good opportunity to blow my kids' minds with a bit of Old English. I wrote the opening lines on the board:
Hwæt! We Gardena in geardagum,
þeodcyninga, þrym gefrunon,
hu ða æþelingas ellen fremedon.
Oft Scyld Scefing sceaþena þreatum,
monegum mægþum, meodosetla ofteah,
egsode eorlas.
Needless to say, they didn't understand much more than "We" and "in." Then again, neither do I.
They also thought I was lying when I said it was English!
Hwæt! We Gardena in geardagum,
þeodcyninga, þrym gefrunon,
hu ða æþelingas ellen fremedon.
Oft Scyld Scefing sceaþena þreatum,
monegum mægþum, meodosetla ofteah,
egsode eorlas.
Needless to say, they didn't understand much more than "We" and "in." Then again, neither do I.
They also thought I was lying when I said it was English!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Thanksgiving
While Thanksgiving is not for a few more days, we celebrated up in Seoul this Saturday, the 21st. In the spirit of the holiday, here are 21 things that happened that I am thankful for.
1. Josh picking me up at the train station.
2. Josh taking me to a delightful, upscale Korean restaurant.
3. Josh's car not getting towed despite leaving it in a Starbucks parking lot for 3 hours while we searched for a game room.
4. Josh's wonder goal in Winning Eleven.
5. My friends caring enough to text me frequently as I was running late due to the 60 minute subway commute.
6. Connie's delightful hospitality.
7. The turkey that, against all odds, was procured and properly cooked.
8. Kate's ultra-sharp cheddar-potato dish.
9. The cranberry sauce mom sent from home.
10. The 15 or so bottles of wine we had.
11. Our impromptu harmonizing session on the balcony featuring myself singing baritone, Alex singing tenor, Lydia singing alto, and Kate singing soprano.
12. The genius who came up with the idea for going to the Noraebang . . . oh right, that was me.
13. Having Alex back so he, James N., and I can sing the Noraebang anthem "September" the way it was meant to be sung.
14. Alex and Lydia's awesome rendition of "A Whole New World."
15. The genius who came up with the idea of forgoing a hotel and killing time at the Millennium Hilton Casino until the first KTX.
16. The free rum and coke I got at said casino.
17. The fact that when we chose our free casino meals, I ordered the ham, egg, and cheese sandwich instead of the insipid pasta everyone else got.
18. The fact that I only lost 30,000 won.
19. The picture I got which I will be submitting to Black Out Korea.
20. The fact that my friends restrained from swearing in front of a nun at my insistence. Thanks guys!
21. The fact that I know all of these people in the first place.
1. Josh picking me up at the train station.
2. Josh taking me to a delightful, upscale Korean restaurant.
3. Josh's car not getting towed despite leaving it in a Starbucks parking lot for 3 hours while we searched for a game room.
4. Josh's wonder goal in Winning Eleven.
5. My friends caring enough to text me frequently as I was running late due to the 60 minute subway commute.
6. Connie's delightful hospitality.
7. The turkey that, against all odds, was procured and properly cooked.
8. Kate's ultra-sharp cheddar-potato dish.
9. The cranberry sauce mom sent from home.
10. The 15 or so bottles of wine we had.
11. Our impromptu harmonizing session on the balcony featuring myself singing baritone, Alex singing tenor, Lydia singing alto, and Kate singing soprano.
12. The genius who came up with the idea for going to the Noraebang . . . oh right, that was me.
13. Having Alex back so he, James N., and I can sing the Noraebang anthem "September" the way it was meant to be sung.
14. Alex and Lydia's awesome rendition of "A Whole New World."
15. The genius who came up with the idea of forgoing a hotel and killing time at the Millennium Hilton Casino until the first KTX.
16. The free rum and coke I got at said casino.
17. The fact that when we chose our free casino meals, I ordered the ham, egg, and cheese sandwich instead of the insipid pasta everyone else got.
18. The fact that I only lost 30,000 won.
19. The picture I got which I will be submitting to Black Out Korea.
20. The fact that my friends restrained from swearing in front of a nun at my insistence. Thanks guys!
21. The fact that I know all of these people in the first place.
One Year Ago . . .
. . . I was sitting in the Seattle airport, passport in my trembling hand, wondering what the next year would hold for me.
You can't say it hasn't been eventful . . .
You can't say it hasn't been eventful . . .
Thursday, November 19, 2009
A Weeknight in Korea
Picture this.
Pub bathroom, Thursday night.
To my right, a man so drunk that he can't hear me knocking on the stall.
To my left, a man spending twelve minutes fixing his hair.
In front of me, a urinal full of fetid vomit.
Just another weeknight in Korea . . .
Pub bathroom, Thursday night.
To my right, a man so drunk that he can't hear me knocking on the stall.
To my left, a man spending twelve minutes fixing his hair.
In front of me, a urinal full of fetid vomit.
Just another weeknight in Korea . . .
Calculate, Yo!
Today during the grading of the in-class quiz, I heard one of the most bizarre outbursts ever from a kid who was unhappy with the way his classmate scored his quiz as a 4/6:
"Can't you calculate?! It's FIVE, yo!!!"
We may have the world's first gangsta accountant on our hands.
"Can't you calculate?! It's FIVE, yo!!!"
We may have the world's first gangsta accountant on our hands.
SHINee, Part 3 - Student Feedback
Today, I was trying to explain the "bandwagon" logical fallacy to my elementary school kids. The book defines this fallacy as arguing that because an opinion is shared by the majority, the opinion is correct. To illustrate, I told them that it's like saying SHINee's "Ring Ding Dong" is a great song just because it's popular. They agreed, on the whole, that this is a misguided opinion. One student exclaimed that the song "sucks."
Another girl went a bit too far. "Teacher," she said. "I think they are, like, gays."
I explained that this is NOT the preferred nomenclature.
Another girl went a bit too far. "Teacher," she said. "I think they are, like, gays."
I explained that this is NOT the preferred nomenclature.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Back Of The (Short) Bus
On Monday an alarming number of children in my class failed the review test. As there was no detention that day, and as the subject of the lesson was Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., I assigned all the kids who failed the test an extra assignment in which they had to write ten sentences about Rosa Parks (the civil rights leader, not the excellent Outkast song of the same name).
Yesterday, one of the staff members came to me with a problem. Apparently one of the students' mothers called and asked where "Rose Park" is.
Note: this kid's nickname appears on this list.
Yesterday, one of the staff members came to me with a problem. Apparently one of the students' mothers called and asked where "Rose Park" is.
Note: this kid's nickname appears on this list.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
SHINee - Coda
If you've checked out the video for SHINee's "Ring Ding Dong" since my last post (and I'm sure you have, loyal readers) you'll note that the chorus involves repeated use of the words "fantastic" and "elastic." "Elastic" is used completely nonsensically; I can only assume that those Bards of SHINee started with the word "fantastic" and then consulted a rhyming dictionary while forgoing the use of an actual dictionary.
Now, the improper use of English in a K-Pop song is hardly ground-breaking news. I've never quite understood it . . . if I'm going to use my second language in a song I'm writing, I'm going to make sure I've checked the grammar and meaning. K-Pop Konglish is funny, but the deleterious effect it has on students is no laughing matter. Take, for example, this comment I saw from one of my brighter students about a fellow pupil's online webzine:
"Hello~ Oh~ I think your webzine is so fantastic and elastic!"
I explained to her that I appreciated the "fantastic" comment. However, as the webzine was not written on a rubber band, it was certainly not "elastic."
So please, K-Pop stars, please consult www.m-w.com before corrupting the English of my young charges.
Now, the improper use of English in a K-Pop song is hardly ground-breaking news. I've never quite understood it . . . if I'm going to use my second language in a song I'm writing, I'm going to make sure I've checked the grammar and meaning. K-Pop Konglish is funny, but the deleterious effect it has on students is no laughing matter. Take, for example, this comment I saw from one of my brighter students about a fellow pupil's online webzine:
"Hello~ Oh~ I think your webzine is so fantastic and elastic!"
I explained to her that I appreciated the "fantastic" comment. However, as the webzine was not written on a rubber band, it was certainly not "elastic."
So please, K-Pop stars, please consult www.m-w.com before corrupting the English of my young charges.
SHINee - Making Adam Lambert Look Like John Wayne
This song is the new hotness in Korea - it's also the worst song I've ever heard not performed by someone whose name rhymes with "Shady Saga."
SHINee - Ring Ding Dong
One of the girls in my class had one of the 18 members of this group on her cell phone. When I asked her who it was, she explained who it was and then said "He is my boyfriend!"
"Oh Honey," I told her. "You have a lot to learn."
SHINee - Ring Ding Dong
One of the girls in my class had one of the 18 members of this group on her cell phone. When I asked her who it was, she explained who it was and then said "He is my boyfriend!"
"Oh Honey," I told her. "You have a lot to learn."
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
On November 11, We Remember . . . Pepero
Today, much of the world observes Armistice Day, Remembrance Day, or Veteran's Day. We remember, as Lincoln said, those who gave their lives that their nation might live.
In Korea, they observe Pepero.
What is Pepero, you ask? According to Wikipedia:
Pepero (빼빼로) is a cookie stick, dipped in chocolate syrup, manufactured by Lotte in South Korea since 1983.
So a tasty treat. But how did it acquire it's own holiday? For that, we turn to this article from the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette:
It started with the Pepero, a long, thin cookie popular in South Korea coated with chocolate or other flavors that, befitting the date of 11/11, resembles the number one . . . While Lotte clearly encourages Pepero Day celebrations now, the company says it had nothing to do with the holiday's creation. That dates back to about a decade ago, Lotte says, when retailers in the city of Busan noticed middle-school girls exchanging boxes of Pepero cookies as friendship gifts around Nov. 11.
Fun, for sure. But I definitely tried to communicate to my kids that it's a tad more important to remember the sacrifices of the men and women who made the world safe for democracy, than it is to munch on sweets. I think they got it.
One foreigner certainly benefited from the holiday, as she bought a giant carboard/plush pepero to threaten her students with.
In Korea, they observe Pepero.
What is Pepero, you ask? According to Wikipedia:
Pepero (빼빼로) is a cookie stick, dipped in chocolate syrup, manufactured by Lotte in South Korea since 1983.
So a tasty treat. But how did it acquire it's own holiday? For that, we turn to this article from the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette:
It started with the Pepero, a long, thin cookie popular in South Korea coated with chocolate or other flavors that, befitting the date of 11/11, resembles the number one . . . While Lotte clearly encourages Pepero Day celebrations now, the company says it had nothing to do with the holiday's creation. That dates back to about a decade ago, Lotte says, when retailers in the city of Busan noticed middle-school girls exchanging boxes of Pepero cookies as friendship gifts around Nov. 11.
Fun, for sure. But I definitely tried to communicate to my kids that it's a tad more important to remember the sacrifices of the men and women who made the world safe for democracy, than it is to munch on sweets. I think they got it.
One foreigner certainly benefited from the holiday, as she bought a giant carboard/plush pepero to threaten her students with.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Carmen
Man cannot survive on The Big Lebowski and soccer games alone (though Lord knows I have tried), so this weekend I decided to take in some culture. Weeks ago, Kate and I were dining on the Subway sandwiches she still brings me from my former school (thanks again!) when we happened on a remarkably stupid Letterman skit her friend had posted to Facebook. Stupid as it was, it reminded me that while in Daegu I had seen a poster advertising Carmen in Korea. Seeing this show was a life-long dream, so we booked our tickets pronto, later adding Courtney to our entourage. As my mom described it, Americans and a Canadian watching a French version of an Italian art form about Spain, performed by a Russian company in Korea.
Remember, Carmen is in French. Kate is fluent, but it can be hard to understand when the speakers are Russians doing Spanish accents, and also bellowing at the top of their lungs. The smart thing to do in this scenario would be to read a synopsis beforehand, yet bafflingly none of us had the foresight to do this. We had been counting on the "supertitles" common to opera houses. And supertitles there were . . . in Korean. Consequently, we had trouble understanding much more than "that soldier likes Carmen, but she likes that bullfighter in the funny outfit" (we found out upon reading the summary that that's actually pretty much the gist of it).
But you don't go to Carmen for the story, and the music was excellent, as were the costumes and the sets. We went to a nearby classy wine bar after. Perhaps the second bottle of wine was a bad choice, as by the time we got back to Seoul Station, we had missed the last KTX and had to take the slow train back. We didn't get home until 1AM, but it was well worth the trip!
Pictures
But you don't go to Carmen for the story, and the music was excellent, as were the costumes and the sets. We went to a nearby classy wine bar after. Perhaps the second bottle of wine was a bad choice, as by the time we got back to Seoul Station, we had missed the last KTX and had to take the slow train back. We didn't get home until 1AM, but it was well worth the trip!
Pictures
Meet You Hall! Boys! And Other Ridiculous Football Banners
A gallery devoted to Engrish on the football banners I've seen this season.
Meet You Hall! Boys! And Other Ridiculous Football Banners
With credit to www.snacksands***.com.
Meet You Hall! Boys! And Other Ridiculous Football Banners
With credit to www.snacksands***.com.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Allez DCFC
With great sadness, we headed to World Cup Stadium last Sunday. No, we weren't sad because we expected Daejeon Citizen to lose, though that was a distinct possibility. Rather, with the playoffs out of reach, we knew we were heading to the last DCFC game of the season, and in the case of me, Lon, and Lisa, possibly our last ever DCFC game. As A.J. and Laura bought their tickets, I made friends with yet another giant Korean anthropomorphic animal character. I don't know what they sell, but I shall miss them.
The game was again Gwangju, the army team. There was a full-circle feeling to the game, as my first-ever DCFC game was against the same team, and I hoped we'd fare better this time. I was immediately disappointed, as with little riding on this game, the coach chose to play the backup keeper instead of the legendary Choi Eun-Sung. The decision hardly paid off, as on 5 minutes a deep Gwangju free kick missed everybody, including the keeper, and went in.
Shortly before half-time, Brazilian Alle, who always looks lively without doing anything, was hauled down by the keeper. Our hero Ko Chang-Hyun equalized with what has to be said was a pretty crappy penalty:
After that it was all Daejeon. Just after the re-start Ko scored another goal with a thumping left-footed half-volley. Striker Park Sung-Ho then repaid Liam's infinite faith in him with his own excellent half-volley to seal the win.
Afterwards, there were not a great deal of festivities. They showed a video with a Choi interview and a few comments from Park Sung-Ho. Sadly, we could understand neither. Two fans/dumbasses rushed the field to claim the keeper's jersey, and the keeper obliged. Lon was incensed; he's been dying to get Choi's jersey for months. "All I had to do was jump on the field?" he said. "They didn't even get arrested!"
We finished the season 9th out of 15. Neither near the top, nor desperately close to the bottom, and above our hated rivals. Not that different from the 08-09 Bolton season you'd have to say.
Highlights:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIvLsw34qiw
Pictures.
The game was again Gwangju, the army team. There was a full-circle feeling to the game, as my first-ever DCFC game was against the same team, and I hoped we'd fare better this time. I was immediately disappointed, as with little riding on this game, the coach chose to play the backup keeper instead of the legendary Choi Eun-Sung. The decision hardly paid off, as on 5 minutes a deep Gwangju free kick missed everybody, including the keeper, and went in.
Shortly before half-time, Brazilian Alle, who always looks lively without doing anything, was hauled down by the keeper. Our hero Ko Chang-Hyun equalized with what has to be said was a pretty crappy penalty:
After that it was all Daejeon. Just after the re-start Ko scored another goal with a thumping left-footed half-volley. Striker Park Sung-Ho then repaid Liam's infinite faith in him with his own excellent half-volley to seal the win.
Afterwards, there were not a great deal of festivities. They showed a video with a Choi interview and a few comments from Park Sung-Ho. Sadly, we could understand neither. Two fans/dumbasses rushed the field to claim the keeper's jersey, and the keeper obliged. Lon was incensed; he's been dying to get Choi's jersey for months. "All I had to do was jump on the field?" he said. "They didn't even get arrested!"
We finished the season 9th out of 15. Neither near the top, nor desperately close to the bottom, and above our hated rivals. Not that different from the 08-09 Bolton season you'd have to say.
Highlights:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIvLsw34qiw
Pictures.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
This Is What Happens When You **** a Stranger in the ***
As was perhaps appropriate given the recent Big Lebowski party, yesterday I had a little prick stonewall me, a la Little Larry Sanders. For those of you not familiar with this scene, see below:
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/420263/
I seriously asked this kid about a dozen times why he didn't do his homework, while he sat there with the same dumb expression worn by Larry. I actually thought I was talking to the wrong kid for a second. If he ever does it again I'm going to tell him he's entering a world of pain and then ask him if he's ever heard of Vietnam.
Bonus: for a hilarious re-interpretation of the above scene, see below:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cssUU9Zp25o
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/420263/
I seriously asked this kid about a dozen times why he didn't do his homework, while he sat there with the same dumb expression worn by Larry. I actually thought I was talking to the wrong kid for a second. If he ever does it again I'm going to tell him he's entering a world of pain and then ask him if he's ever heard of Vietnam.
Bonus: for a hilarious re-interpretation of the above scene, see below:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cssUU9Zp25o
Monday, November 2, 2009
It's Halloween, You Swine!
Now, to further elaborate on the events of Halloween.
I met up with Courtney after her Korean lesson - she's far more dedicated than I am - and we hopped on the KTX for Seoul. Chris M. had departed an hour or so earlier and was kind enough to wait for us at Seoul Station. The rest of our cohort was in the suburbs getting ready so we decided to make them jealous by heading to Itaewon and eating Mexican food. Next, we headed to What the Book? to stock up on English books. I was looking for Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail '72, but sadly that was pretty much the one Thompson book they didn't have. I picked up Dubliners by Joyce instead . . . it was cheap.
At this point we decided to try to find lodging for the evening. The 30,000 won a night love motel we stayed in during our last Seoul trip was booked. The Hotel D'Oro, where I've stayed a few times before, was charging a "Special Halloween Rate." That is to say, rooms were 50% more expensive for Halloween. We could neither support this profiteering, nor could we afford the 200,000 won price. The Hamilton Hotel was also pricey, so we decided to dump our bags in the lockers at Itaewon station and address the sleeping issue later.
As we had given up on getting a room, we decided this was the right time to get into costume. I was already in full Raoul Duke garb, but Courtney and Chris needed to get changed . . . in the scuzzy Itaewon station bathroom. That's what we get for being frugal. Still, it paid off, as Chris attracted impressed glances with his insane killer outfit (he is in the center, obviously), and Courtney looked lovely in her rumba outfit (a costume chosen by the author, thank you very much).
We were still waiting for our homies to arrive so we headed to Gecko's where we saw the first real Halloween action of the night. It made me feel at home to see the usual Halloween blend - skanky costumes for the girls, deeply offensive costumes for the guys. Seriously, to the guy who dressed as a Nazi: I seriously hope you aren't in the military because I shudder to think that my taxes might have paid for that costume.
Our friends finally arrived and Courtney was able to join the rest of the Girls of the World. They all looked fantastic, though sadly we were never able to meet up with Vietnam. Our entourage also included Elvis Presley, a Kissing Booth, and a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The first bar was a lot of fun. As I mentioned before, I may or may not have won a costume contest there, but it's immaterial as I never claimed a prize. Our time at that bar did end on a sad note, as a mentally troubled woman began throwing drinks. By that time we were ready to move on and grab some kebabs before transporting ourselves to the Hongdae area, which has more university students and fewer sleazebags.
We lost Kate and Chris temporarily en route, but we found something extraordinary. Those of you from Seattle, particularly those who went to UW, might be familiar with Orange King, a fixture in the U District for as long as I've been alive. Well, when we saw this sign, at first I assumed it was a coincidence. But if you look closely, it says Seattle's Orange King. Turns out a Korean UW student liked it so much he opened his own in Seoul. I'm not sure I've ever been to the one in Seattle, but I'll definitely make sure we hit this one up when we return next week for Carmen.
Once Chris and Kate returned we split up. Some of us went to a club, while those of us with a moral objection to 10,000 won cover charges headed to a nearby hookah bar. We made the right choice. Not only was the melon hookah delicious, but this is where the gentleman introduced us to the outstanding Agwa Buzz shot.
We hit up a couple more bars, but the party was dying down, as you might expect at 5AM. Yes, it was late (early?) but there was a method to our madness. As we never got a hotel, our plan was to take the first KTX train back to Daejeon. After some street food, we took a cab back to Itaewon station. Once that opened at 5:30, we grabbed our bags and headed to Seoul Station. We hopped on the 6:10 KTX, dozed briefly, got home around 7:30, and slept.
I met up with Courtney after her Korean lesson - she's far more dedicated than I am - and we hopped on the KTX for Seoul. Chris M. had departed an hour or so earlier and was kind enough to wait for us at Seoul Station. The rest of our cohort was in the suburbs getting ready so we decided to make them jealous by heading to Itaewon and eating Mexican food. Next, we headed to What the Book? to stock up on English books. I was looking for Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail '72, but sadly that was pretty much the one Thompson book they didn't have. I picked up Dubliners by Joyce instead . . . it was cheap.
At this point we decided to try to find lodging for the evening. The 30,000 won a night love motel we stayed in during our last Seoul trip was booked. The Hotel D'Oro, where I've stayed a few times before, was charging a "Special Halloween Rate." That is to say, rooms were 50% more expensive for Halloween. We could neither support this profiteering, nor could we afford the 200,000 won price. The Hamilton Hotel was also pricey, so we decided to dump our bags in the lockers at Itaewon station and address the sleeping issue later.
As we had given up on getting a room, we decided this was the right time to get into costume. I was already in full Raoul Duke garb, but Courtney and Chris needed to get changed . . . in the scuzzy Itaewon station bathroom. That's what we get for being frugal. Still, it paid off, as Chris attracted impressed glances with his insane killer outfit (he is in the center, obviously), and Courtney looked lovely in her rumba outfit (a costume chosen by the author, thank you very much).
We were still waiting for our homies to arrive so we headed to Gecko's where we saw the first real Halloween action of the night. It made me feel at home to see the usual Halloween blend - skanky costumes for the girls, deeply offensive costumes for the guys. Seriously, to the guy who dressed as a Nazi: I seriously hope you aren't in the military because I shudder to think that my taxes might have paid for that costume.
Our friends finally arrived and Courtney was able to join the rest of the Girls of the World. They all looked fantastic, though sadly we were never able to meet up with Vietnam. Our entourage also included Elvis Presley, a Kissing Booth, and a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The first bar was a lot of fun. As I mentioned before, I may or may not have won a costume contest there, but it's immaterial as I never claimed a prize. Our time at that bar did end on a sad note, as a mentally troubled woman began throwing drinks. By that time we were ready to move on and grab some kebabs before transporting ourselves to the Hongdae area, which has more university students and fewer sleazebags.
We lost Kate and Chris temporarily en route, but we found something extraordinary. Those of you from Seattle, particularly those who went to UW, might be familiar with Orange King, a fixture in the U District for as long as I've been alive. Well, when we saw this sign, at first I assumed it was a coincidence. But if you look closely, it says Seattle's Orange King. Turns out a Korean UW student liked it so much he opened his own in Seoul. I'm not sure I've ever been to the one in Seattle, but I'll definitely make sure we hit this one up when we return next week for Carmen.
Once Chris and Kate returned we split up. Some of us went to a club, while those of us with a moral objection to 10,000 won cover charges headed to a nearby hookah bar. We made the right choice. Not only was the melon hookah delicious, but this is where the gentleman introduced us to the outstanding Agwa Buzz shot.
We hit up a couple more bars, but the party was dying down, as you might expect at 5AM. Yes, it was late (early?) but there was a method to our madness. As we never got a hotel, our plan was to take the first KTX train back to Daejeon. After some street food, we took a cab back to Itaewon station. Once that opened at 5:30, we grabbed our bags and headed to Seoul Station. We hopped on the 6:10 KTX, dozed briefly, got home around 7:30, and slept.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
A Reminder For You Facebook Followers
For those of you who follow Live From The 38th Parallel on Facebook, I'd like to remind you that you can check out past entries on livefromthe38thparallel.blogspot.com.
Fear and Loathing in Seoul
There are advantages and disadvantages to a Hunter S. Thompson/Raoul Duke Halloween costume. First, the disadvantages:
- As you might guess, not everybody gets it. This occasionally led to hilarity. As I was standing in line for the john a British bloke approached me and asked if I was an American tourist. I responded that no, I was Hunter S. Thompson. "No," he said. "You're either an American tourist or Johnny Depp from Fear and Loathing."
- It's not very warm. It's well suited to Vegas, but not to Seoul on a cold fall evening. Chuck Taylors soak through very quickly.
- Some people are a little too enthusiastic about it, such as the chap who screamed "THIS IS BAT COUNTRY!!!!!!" in my ear.
- I didn't have any ether.
But there are many advantages:
- It's cheap. I owned the Converse, shorts, and the shirt (Acapulco shirt shipped courtesy of Mom). The aviator glasses were left over from the Walter Sobchak costume. The hat was 2,000 won at the 1,000 won store (what a rip-off!). The cigarette holder was assembled from materials worth about 12 cents.
- It's comfortable.
- When people liked it, they REALLY liked it. I got appreciative shouts all night. One member of the U.S. military was so enthralled with it that he bought my party a round of Agwa/Red Bull shots, which were fantastic.
- I have a sneaking suspicion I may have won a costume contest at a bar, but I couldn't confirm this.
- I got to run around randomly calling people "swine" and accusing them of ibogaine addiction.
More on our Halloween exploits to follow.
Friday, October 30, 2009
With A Name Like . . .
You may recall that I've blogged about some of the more bizarre English nicknames our students have chosen to adopt. Today, I'd like to discuss the connection between nicknames and behavior - specifically, bad behavior. Here are the top five English nicknames chosen by underwhelming kids. You'll notice these are all boys' names . . . well, my gender doesn't really cover itself in glory in the classroom.
5. Max (sorry bro)
Kids named Max tend to be out of shape and irritating. They work poorly with others and are frequently ostracized from group projects.
4. Kevin
Kids named Kevin are just tools. They are destined to join a fraternity and be arrested for putting rohypnol in a girl's drink.
3. Robin
Kids named Robin tend to speak English poorly, if at all. They don't do their homework and fail tests with alarming frequency.
2. Andy
Kids named Andy don't fit a specific stereotype. They could be severely ADD, severely incompetent, or severely rude. One thing is for sure: a kid named Andy is probably severely annoying.
And the number one name indicating bad behavior:
1. June/Joon
Kids named June/Joon are, without fail, hyperactive to a degree that borders on psychotic. Curiously, they are usually fairly intelligent, which renders their inability to stay in their seat and shut up all the more frustrating.
5. Max (sorry bro)
Kids named Max tend to be out of shape and irritating. They work poorly with others and are frequently ostracized from group projects.
4. Kevin
Kids named Kevin are just tools. They are destined to join a fraternity and be arrested for putting rohypnol in a girl's drink.
3. Robin
Kids named Robin tend to speak English poorly, if at all. They don't do their homework and fail tests with alarming frequency.
2. Andy
Kids named Andy don't fit a specific stereotype. They could be severely ADD, severely incompetent, or severely rude. One thing is for sure: a kid named Andy is probably severely annoying.
And the number one name indicating bad behavior:
1. June/Joon
Kids named June/Joon are, without fail, hyperactive to a degree that borders on psychotic. Curiously, they are usually fairly intelligent, which renders their inability to stay in their seat and shut up all the more frustrating.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
The Dude Abides
This weekend, as a Halloween warm-up, we threw a Big Lebowski party. The idea was to dress up as your favorite character, drink a few White Russians, hit the lanes, then watch the movie. It went better than I dared hope. The cast of characters was inspiring. We had The Dude, Walter Sobchak, Donnie, Maude, The Jesus, Bunny, the Nine-Toed Nihilist, and even the Girls from Gutterballs. All in all, it was a complete success: we had a great time, I won both games of bowling, we didn't get ejected from the lanes, and we got some classic pictures. Below, Chris M., the author, and James N. as Donnie, Walter, and The Dude.
A Pressing Question Answered: Yes, Korea Has Zambonis
We went to see my friend Dave's hockey game on Friday, and I was fairly surprised by what I saw. While we sometimes struggle to get seven or eight people to our Sunday afternoon soccer games, there were around three dozen hockey players at the rink on a Friday night. There were two teams of foreigners and one team of well-dressed but limited Korean players. They had pads, uniforms, even referees: a level of organization our soccer team could little dream of. Dave's team dominated, winning something like 7-3. I haven't heard that many Canadian accents since the last Levi's blowout sale.
Below, proof of the title. I wonder how much it cost to import that thing?
Friday, October 23, 2009
Abracadabra
This is the latest K-Pop song to sweep the nation. Fortunately, it's really catchy - and the video ain't half bad either.
Brown Eyed Girls - "Abracadabra"
Yes, the name of group is the "Brown Eyed Girls" - sort of like naming an Irish folk band "The Drunks," really.
At any rate, the popularity of the song and video has even proved to be an unexpected bonus for my classroom. When kids are late from break, I make them stand up in front of their peers and do the crossed-arm dance . . . instant humiliation!
Brown Eyed Girls - "Abracadabra"
Yes, the name of group is the "Brown Eyed Girls" - sort of like naming an Irish folk band "The Drunks," really.
At any rate, the popularity of the song and video has even proved to be an unexpected bonus for my classroom. When kids are late from break, I make them stand up in front of their peers and do the crossed-arm dance . . . instant humiliation!
Thursday, October 22, 2009
The Innocence of Youth
[Note: contains Pride and Prejudice spoilers.]
One of the perks of moving to my new branch has been that I get to teach very high level kids. In my reading class, we've finished Pride and Prejudice and we're nearing the end of Oliver Twist. After class I was speaking to one of the girls, who is about 15 years old. She commented that she wasn't sure that Mr. Darcy is a realistic character: "Once a man has been rejected by a woman, wouldn't he just forget about her?"
I smiled and informed her that it doesn't quite work that way, as she will find out when she is older.
One of the perks of moving to my new branch has been that I get to teach very high level kids. In my reading class, we've finished Pride and Prejudice and we're nearing the end of Oliver Twist. After class I was speaking to one of the girls, who is about 15 years old. She commented that she wasn't sure that Mr. Darcy is a realistic character: "Once a man has been rejected by a woman, wouldn't he just forget about her?"
I smiled and informed her that it doesn't quite work that way, as she will find out when she is older.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
Cause and Effect
Today one of my less-than-stellar students informed me of her studying strategy:
Student: "Teacher! Every week I only memorize the sentences and guess on the vocabulary!"
Teacher James: "Uhhh . . . and what are your test grades like?"
Student: "Bad."
Student: "Teacher! Every week I only memorize the sentences and guess on the vocabulary!"
Teacher James: "Uhhh . . . and what are your test grades like?"
Student: "Bad."
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Rude.
Korea, I think, is a more blunt society than the United States, and certainly more blunt than the guilt-ridden Catholic school world I grew up in. Kids in general tend to be blunt too. Combine this with the fact that people learning a second language probably struggle with the art of subtlety, and you get some howlers in class.
A friend recently had a kid say that it was obvious she didn't have much money. Otherwise, she would have gotten plastic surgery, because her face is "so-so" (not true, by the way). Women who are around 25 and unmarried are likely to be informed in no uncertain terms that their prospects for matrimony are waning.
It's not always negative. Another friend had a student write on the desk "_______ is f***ing hot" in Korean. I've been told on numerous occasions that I am very handsome, though this is usually from a student who didn't do his or her homework and is trying to butter me up.
I was blown away earlier this week though. A recent addition to the curriculum is the online community, where kids can post "webzines" about their class work and rate and give feedback on webzines from other kids. This was, word-for-word, one of the comments:
"Zero rating for you! What a bad webzine! Yeah, like ____, do not make your own webzine."
This kid got an earful from me. Tactfully, of course.
A friend recently had a kid say that it was obvious she didn't have much money. Otherwise, she would have gotten plastic surgery, because her face is "so-so" (not true, by the way). Women who are around 25 and unmarried are likely to be informed in no uncertain terms that their prospects for matrimony are waning.
It's not always negative. Another friend had a student write on the desk "_______ is f***ing hot" in Korean. I've been told on numerous occasions that I am very handsome, though this is usually from a student who didn't do his or her homework and is trying to butter me up.
I was blown away earlier this week though. A recent addition to the curriculum is the online community, where kids can post "webzines" about their class work and rate and give feedback on webzines from other kids. This was, word-for-word, one of the comments:
"Zero rating for you! What a bad webzine! Yeah, like ____, do not make your own webzine."
This kid got an earful from me. Tactfully, of course.
Bomunsan. Round 2: FIGHT!
As you may recall, a few months ago Max, Kate, and I unsuccessfully attempted to climb Bomunsan, a mountain in Daejeon. For the Chuseok holiday, Kate and I decided to give it another go with Lon and Lisa . . . this time, sans monsoon rain.
We quickly surpassed our previous best, walking past the decrepit amusement park and abandoned swimming pool. We then came to a memorial to a Korean War battle in Daejeon. In addition to being totally badass, it was also foreigner friendly. We turned past the monument and continued on.
The weird thing about Bomunsan is that all the way up, you're constantly being surprised by random structures. First, there are the random restaurants, which can't be at all convenient when it's time to deliver supplies. Next up, there was a random set of badminton courts, with a pretty intense game going on. Finally, there were a number of outdoor gyms, with low-impact exercise equipment. I really pitied the guy who had to carry the bench press three quarters of the way up the mountain.
The climb got steeper. Eventually, we came to a series of burial mounds. Again, I felt sorry for the people who had to carry the corpses up there. Finally, we made it to the peak, where we were greeted with a beautiful view of South Daejeon and a lovely lunch that Lisa had packed.
You'd think that the hike down would be the easy part, but by this point my legs felt like jelly and were quaking on the way down. At the foot of the mountain, we saw a couple of interesting things. First, an elderly chap was playing saxophone, accompanied by a soundtrack from his laptop, which was plugged into his car lighter (P.S., I'm a superior saxophonist). We also ran into a mother and daughter from Seattle. Small world . . .
Pictures.
We quickly surpassed our previous best, walking past the decrepit amusement park and abandoned swimming pool. We then came to a memorial to a Korean War battle in Daejeon. In addition to being totally badass, it was also foreigner friendly. We turned past the monument and continued on.
The weird thing about Bomunsan is that all the way up, you're constantly being surprised by random structures. First, there are the random restaurants, which can't be at all convenient when it's time to deliver supplies. Next up, there was a random set of badminton courts, with a pretty intense game going on. Finally, there were a number of outdoor gyms, with low-impact exercise equipment. I really pitied the guy who had to carry the bench press three quarters of the way up the mountain.
The climb got steeper. Eventually, we came to a series of burial mounds. Again, I felt sorry for the people who had to carry the corpses up there. Finally, we made it to the peak, where we were greeted with a beautiful view of South Daejeon and a lovely lunch that Lisa had packed.
You'd think that the hike down would be the easy part, but by this point my legs felt like jelly and were quaking on the way down. At the foot of the mountain, we saw a couple of interesting things. First, an elderly chap was playing saxophone, accompanied by a soundtrack from his laptop, which was plugged into his car lighter (P.S., I'm a superior saxophonist). We also ran into a mother and daughter from Seattle. Small world . . .
Pictures.
Monday, October 12, 2009
The Most Depressing Sentence I've Ever Heard In My Class
"Teacher! I don't know the causes of the Korean War!"
Thursday, October 8, 2009
The Onion: Educational Tool
Today my highest-level students encountered the word "satire" in the course of their lesson. Who better to explain the concept than America's Finest News Source?
Old, Grizzled Third-Party Candidate May Steal Support From McCain.
One of my students described it as "the coolest class video ever." Lord only knows what she'd have thought if I showed her my favorite Onion video.
Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of S*** That Doesn't F***ing Work
Old, Grizzled Third-Party Candidate May Steal Support From McCain.
One of my students described it as "the coolest class video ever." Lord only knows what she'd have thought if I showed her my favorite Onion video.
Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of S*** That Doesn't F***ing Work
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
FC Seoul'ed Out
In all of our travels to watch Daejeon Citizen FC - from Seongnam in the North to Gwangju in the South, Jeonju in the West to Daegu in the East - we've really failed to take advantage of the Daejeon Citizen Supporters' Bus. This was rectified for our trip to Seoul, as my usual football cohorts Lon and Lisa joined me, along with new recruit A.J.
The bus has several advantages. One, it goes directly from Daejeon World Cup Stadium to the away ground. Two, it comes with it the hope, however faint, of running into the players' bus at a rest stop. Most importantly, it's dirt cheap. Round-trip transportation and a ticket to the game was only ₩20,000 - less than the cost of a one-way KTX ticket. It was such a good deal that we could forgive the driver for meandering aimlessly through the streets of Seoul for no reason.
Seoul World Cup Stadium is an impressive venue, as you would expect of a 68,000 seat arena that hosted a World Cup Semi-Final. Despite its size, the layout of the stadium is excellent, making you feel very close to the field. As befits the top team in the K-League, even the food was superior, with chicken tenders a glorious addition to the usual ramen and Pringles in Daejeon.
The stadium and the team should speak for itself, but in their wisdom FC Seoul decided to inundate the audience with a barrage of s****y Asian 80's style death metal guitar and an P.A. system so loud that it will make you think you've angered God. Even more irritating was the fireworks show that we were treated to at the beginning of the game and every time Seoul scored. On the plus side, their opening video montage included clips of former FC Seoul player and current Bolton Wanderers hero-du-jour Lee Chung-Yong.
It didn't take long for Seoul to prove their superiority. After 6 minutes, a Daejeon defender dithered in clearing the ball, allowing a Seoul player to get a shot away. The ball hit the post and unluckily rebounded off Choi Eun-Sung, allowing Jung Jo-Gook to tap in easily. Daejeon responded positively, but in general took too long before shooting. The game was over as a contest just before half-time, as Jung Jo-Gook again took advantage of slack marking to head home from a free-kick. Ko Chang-Hyun came close to pulling one back with a trademark free kick, but Lee Sang-Hyup added a third for FC Seoul after 75 minutes with a powerful half-volley.
We went home disappointed, and sadly without the consolation of meeting the players again.
Pictures.
Game highlights.
The bus has several advantages. One, it goes directly from Daejeon World Cup Stadium to the away ground. Two, it comes with it the hope, however faint, of running into the players' bus at a rest stop. Most importantly, it's dirt cheap. Round-trip transportation and a ticket to the game was only ₩20,000 - less than the cost of a one-way KTX ticket. It was such a good deal that we could forgive the driver for meandering aimlessly through the streets of Seoul for no reason.
Seoul World Cup Stadium is an impressive venue, as you would expect of a 68,000 seat arena that hosted a World Cup Semi-Final. Despite its size, the layout of the stadium is excellent, making you feel very close to the field. As befits the top team in the K-League, even the food was superior, with chicken tenders a glorious addition to the usual ramen and Pringles in Daejeon.
The stadium and the team should speak for itself, but in their wisdom FC Seoul decided to inundate the audience with a barrage of s****y Asian 80's style death metal guitar and an P.A. system so loud that it will make you think you've angered God. Even more irritating was the fireworks show that we were treated to at the beginning of the game and every time Seoul scored. On the plus side, their opening video montage included clips of former FC Seoul player and current Bolton Wanderers hero-du-jour Lee Chung-Yong.
It didn't take long for Seoul to prove their superiority. After 6 minutes, a Daejeon defender dithered in clearing the ball, allowing a Seoul player to get a shot away. The ball hit the post and unluckily rebounded off Choi Eun-Sung, allowing Jung Jo-Gook to tap in easily. Daejeon responded positively, but in general took too long before shooting. The game was over as a contest just before half-time, as Jung Jo-Gook again took advantage of slack marking to head home from a free-kick. Ko Chang-Hyun came close to pulling one back with a trademark free kick, but Lee Sang-Hyup added a third for FC Seoul after 75 minutes with a powerful half-volley.
We went home disappointed, and sadly without the consolation of meeting the players again.
Pictures.
Game highlights.
Get Your Ginseng On
A couple of weeks ago, Courtney suggested we visit the ginseng festival in nearby Geumsan. I have no great love for ginseng - I don't even know what its supposed benefits are - but it was something different to do. We met up with out friend Laura at Daejeon Station and, after futilely attempting to walk to the Intercity Bus Terminal, hopped in a cab and then hopped on a bus.
45 minutes later, we stepped into a town as crazy about ginseng as Las Vegas is about taking advantage of mathematically-challenged honeymooners. Once we walked through a ginseng-covered gate we were in awe of the sheer number of booths at the ginseng market. Yes, this was a festival, so there were extra tents and bizarre ginseng-themed characters, but there were at least a hundred permanent brick-and-mortar stores selling the root in question.
Almost immediately, Laura was accosted (in a friendly way) by an elderly woman who introduced her to the finer points of washing ginseng root. The woman also insisted on taking many pictures of Courtney and Laura holding her product; we assumed she was trying to get on the cover of White Babes With Ginseng Monthly.
Leaving the friendly old lady, Courtney proceeded to partake in a number of free samples, all of which resulted in pained expressions. I bought a few bottles of ginseng wine, which was cheap but no match for a nice Riesling. We continued to be surprised by the creepy, Dr. Frankenstein experiment-like ginseng in jars and met up with a few people whose clothing seemed entirely inappropriate for the occasion.
What was lacking at this festival, though, was food. We were hungry from walking all day, and the tempura ginseng, while tasty, didn't satisfy our hunger. We left the ginseng market and walked for a bit in search of nourishment. After a while, we came to a small place with a happy pig cartoon. Usually, this signifies pork barbecue. Not in this case. In fact, we ordered a stew made from leftover pig parts. Courtney was brave enough to try the brains; I stuck to liver and heart, which was pretty adventurous for someone who was a vegetarian 10 months ago. Adding insult to injury was the fact that a number of bakeries and fried chicken establishments were just around the corner. We headed home, feeling queasy.
Pictures here.
45 minutes later, we stepped into a town as crazy about ginseng as Las Vegas is about taking advantage of mathematically-challenged honeymooners. Once we walked through a ginseng-covered gate we were in awe of the sheer number of booths at the ginseng market. Yes, this was a festival, so there were extra tents and bizarre ginseng-themed characters, but there were at least a hundred permanent brick-and-mortar stores selling the root in question.
Almost immediately, Laura was accosted (in a friendly way) by an elderly woman who introduced her to the finer points of washing ginseng root. The woman also insisted on taking many pictures of Courtney and Laura holding her product; we assumed she was trying to get on the cover of White Babes With Ginseng Monthly.
Leaving the friendly old lady, Courtney proceeded to partake in a number of free samples, all of which resulted in pained expressions. I bought a few bottles of ginseng wine, which was cheap but no match for a nice Riesling. We continued to be surprised by the creepy, Dr. Frankenstein experiment-like ginseng in jars and met up with a few people whose clothing seemed entirely inappropriate for the occasion.
What was lacking at this festival, though, was food. We were hungry from walking all day, and the tempura ginseng, while tasty, didn't satisfy our hunger. We left the ginseng market and walked for a bit in search of nourishment. After a while, we came to a small place with a happy pig cartoon. Usually, this signifies pork barbecue. Not in this case. In fact, we ordered a stew made from leftover pig parts. Courtney was brave enough to try the brains; I stuck to liver and heart, which was pretty adventurous for someone who was a vegetarian 10 months ago. Adding insult to injury was the fact that a number of bakeries and fried chicken establishments were just around the corner. We headed home, feeling queasy.
Pictures here.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Blast from the Past
While the picture is blurry, long-time friends may recognize the lady on the right:
That would indeed be my friend Courtney from the Hansee Hall days at the University of Washington. By sheer random coincidence, she's not only teaching in Korea, but is teaching in Daejeon!
I wanted to establish this in the blog, even though it would be funny to have her randomly show up in pictures and blog entries.
That would indeed be my friend Courtney from the Hansee Hall days at the University of Washington. By sheer random coincidence, she's not only teaching in Korea, but is teaching in Daejeon!
I wanted to establish this in the blog, even though it would be funny to have her randomly show up in pictures and blog entries.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Admission of Guilt
As you know, every day the kids work together on a critical thinking project. Unsurprisingly, a major danger of this is that the kids speak in Korean to each other instead of practicing their English. To counteract this, I give each group a "Mr. Yuk" face on the board every time I catch them speaking Korean. Three Mr. Yuk faces and they lose the competition and get a bad grade.
Today, a group violated the "English Only" rule in record time. Consequently, they got a Mr. Yuk face. One of the members was confused as to why. The offender turned to him and blurted out, "Because I speak Korean!!! HAPPY?!?!?!?!"
Today, a group violated the "English Only" rule in record time. Consequently, they got a Mr. Yuk face. One of the members was confused as to why. The offender turned to him and blurted out, "Because I speak Korean!!! HAPPY?!?!?!?!"
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Plagiarism!
So, I posted the second picture of the Lee Chung-Yong newspapers to my favored Bolton Wanderers website. And it appears another website ripped me off . . .
http://www.bolton.vitalfootball.co.uk/article.asp?a=171991
http://www.bolton.vitalfootball.co.uk/article.asp?a=171991
Monday, September 28, 2009
Bolton and Korea: United!
I awoke early Sunday morning to watch Bolton take on Birmingham. Ever since Bolton signed South Korean international Lee Chung-Yong, coverage has dramatically increased here. Korean sports channels don't so much follow a team as they follow Koreans abroad. Hence, they have a Manchester United highlight show that basically consists of Park Ji-Sung missing goals over and over again.
Lee came on as a substitute and the Korean commentators orgasmed every time he touched the ball. They were probably less than thrilled when he cheaply gave the ball away, allowing Birmingham to equalize. However, two minutes later, he got his first goal for Bolton, and it was a cracker. The commentators exploded, and Lee made it onto the cover of several Korean sports papers (hint: Lee is the one on the left).
Match highlights.
My match report from The Wanderer.
The papers:
Lee came on as a substitute and the Korean commentators orgasmed every time he touched the ball. They were probably less than thrilled when he cheaply gave the ball away, allowing Birmingham to equalize. However, two minutes later, he got his first goal for Bolton, and it was a cracker. The commentators exploded, and Lee made it onto the cover of several Korean sports papers (hint: Lee is the one on the left).
Match highlights.
My match report from The Wanderer.
The papers:
Friday, September 25, 2009
A Sure Sign That I'm Adapting
Today, for the first time, I paid my utilities bill at the bank flawlessly, without assistance. This is no mean feat, because the machine has no English, and neither does the bill. Most old Korean women can't even do it as well as I did.
Sadly, there are only two more bills I can use this newly developed skill on . . .
Sadly, there are only two more bills I can use this newly developed skill on . . .
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
Foods I'm Going To Binge On When I Get Home
- Pagliacci Pizza
- Shultzy's Sausage
- Taco Del Mar Fish Tacos
- Dick's Drive-In
- Ivar's (the entire menu)
- George and Dragon shepherd's pie
- Fado Irish breakfast
- Aladdin falafel
- Eastlake/Greenlake Bar and Grill happy hour
- Duke's happy hour
- Anthony's happy hour
- Every happy hour in the greater Seattle area
- Mom's stuffed portobello mushrooms
- Crab Eggs Benedict at Portage Bay Cafe
- Beth's Cafe biscuits and gravy
That actually made me homesick . . . anything I'm missing?
- Shultzy's Sausage
- Taco Del Mar Fish Tacos
- Dick's Drive-In
- Ivar's (the entire menu)
- George and Dragon shepherd's pie
- Fado Irish breakfast
- Aladdin falafel
- Eastlake/Greenlake Bar and Grill happy hour
- Duke's happy hour
- Anthony's happy hour
- Every happy hour in the greater Seattle area
- Mom's stuffed portobello mushrooms
- Crab Eggs Benedict at Portage Bay Cafe
- Beth's Cafe biscuits and gravy
That actually made me homesick . . . anything I'm missing?
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Eat This, Creationists
Today, the topic of the class was cryonics. In the course of this discussion, the book mentioned the problem of ischemic brain damage - when you die, your heart stops pumping oxygen-rich blood, which causes brain damage before you can be frozen. I informed the kids that even being deprived of oxygen for four or five minutes can result in brain damage.
At this point, one of my denser students began holding his breath.
So for those of you who doubt Charles Darwin, I ask you this: is this not a clear example of natural selection?
At this point, one of my denser students began holding his breath.
So for those of you who doubt Charles Darwin, I ask you this: is this not a clear example of natural selection?
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Those Days Are Gone Forever . . .
Last night, for the first time in ages, it was chilly enough that I had to wear a long-sleeved shirt when I went out. I believe this is recognized by the American Meteorological Society as a sure-fire sign that summer is over. Time to cue up the Don Henley.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Worst Lie Ever
In general, schoolchildren live by the motto of the late, great professional wrestler Eddie Guerrero: lie, cheat, and steal. And in general, they aren't very good at it. Take, for example, the child today who did not complete a portion of his homework. He tried to claim that he didn't know it was part of his homework. This assertion was undermined by the fact that in the previous class he had written a large "H.W." at the top of the page.
Monday, September 7, 2009
All I Want For Christmas . . .
. . . is a computer capable of running a YouTube video fluidly. How am I supposed to show my kids a clip from Jackass?
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Oh-for-Four
This weekend:
1) Hanwha Eagles baseball team lost 12-8 after being up 8-4.
2) Bolton Wanderers lost 3-2 to Liverpool after being up 1-0 and 2-1.
3) Lisa and my soccer team lost 8-7 after being up 7-6 at the end.
4) Daejeon Citizen lost 2-0.
Not really a lucky weekend for me.
1) Hanwha Eagles baseball team lost 12-8 after being up 8-4.
2) Bolton Wanderers lost 3-2 to Liverpool after being up 1-0 and 2-1.
3) Lisa and my soccer team lost 8-7 after being up 7-6 at the end.
4) Daejeon Citizen lost 2-0.
Not really a lucky weekend for me.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Seongnam IFC Away - The Must-Read Blog of the Year!
Following our trip to the Korean War Museum, Lon, Lisa, and I hopped on the subway to meet Josh for the Seongnam IFC vs Daejeon Citizen game. We were looking forward to this for several reasons. First, Seongnam is the most successful team in K-League history, and Daejeon hadn't beaten them for five years. DCFC has been looking much better since we brought in a new coach so we had high hopes. Secondly, like the Washington Times, Seongnam is owned by the Unification Church of convicted tax fraud Sun Myung Moon, and any chance to stick it to the self-proclaimed Second Coming of Christ is welcome.
The third reason is personal. Seongnam have in their back line a fat, talentless thug named Saša Ognenovski, who should be arrested for impersonating a footballer. A brief look at his stats (ranging from 1-20) in Football Manager will tell you what he's all about - note that "Aggression" is his best attribute. And I think they made an error - that weight should read "209 kilograms."
We've seen him play in a couple of games in Daejeon, and he's a complete d***. His "preferred moves" in Football Manager should include "kicks the ball aimlessly out of bounds" and "fouls people for no good reason." We could tell he was a foreigner, but what we didn't know is that he's Australian and can therefore understand English. This would probably explain why he once grabbed his crotch in our direction in response to a torrent of abuse after he elbowed one of our players in the face in the box. Not very professional, Saša.
Josh was kind enough to pick us up from the Subway and drive us to the stadium. Or at least we thought it was the stadium. It turns out that Seongnam actually has two stadiums, and we were at the wrong one, partly due to the fact that the Moonies saw fit to put up Seongnam vs. Daejeon banners at the wrong stadium. You'd think their Messiah wouldn't let them do something so stupid. As a result, we arrived about 10 minutes late to the crappiest stadium I've ever seen. They may be successful, but their stadium sucks and their support is pathetic (look at the bleachers near the top . . . our supporters are in the foreground).
Daejeon looked very good in the first half, even without Ko Chang-Hyun who was on the subs bench due to a recent injury. We were rewarded just before half-time when left-back Kim Han-Seob scored an excellent goal. I'm guessing it was his first for the club given the fact that he was mobbed by his teammates . . . or perhaps they just hate right-wing cults as much as I do. Things got even better after half-time, when Daejeon's new Serbian striker Stevan Račić rounded the keeper, only to be pulled down just outside the area. The Seongnam keeper saw red, while all eyes turned to free-kick God Ko Chang-Hyun who was warming up. He came on for Stevan, and with his first kick since returning from injury scored another trademark curling free-kick. How we love him so!
A comfortable victory just isn't DCFC's style though. Shortly after 10-man Seongnam pulled one back with a good header and it was nail-biting time. We were perhaps somewhat fortunate that Saša kept kicking useless long-balls as usual. The referee added an inexplicable five minutes of injury time, during which Choi Eun-Sung pulled off a very good save to keep us in the lead. When the final whistle was blown, the Daejeon fans erupted, and I've never seen the players so happy.
We said goodbye to Josh and caught the Supporter's Bus back to Daejeon. I started to drift off to sleep, only to wake up a half-hour later at a rest stop. It seemed relatively soon for a break and I was not pleased at being awoken from my nap, but my spirits were lifted when I saw what looked like the team bus. And indeed, once inside, we got to meet a number of the players, including Stevan (see below), the Brazilian duo Valber and Alexandre, and even Ko Chang-Hyun. New manager (and miracle worker) Wang Sun-Jae offered to buy all of the supporters ramen, and even asked me "Where are you prom?"
The highlight, by far though, was meeting captain and legend Choi Eun-Sung. He's been at Daejeon since the team started in 1997, and he is worshipped by the fans. We had the pleasure of attending his 400th game for DCFC earlier in the season. He was extremely nice and gladly agreed to take a picture with us . . . only for Lon's camera to run out of batteries. We were able to get just enough juice to snap the below picture though, capping off an undoubted highlight of my 9 months in Korea.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Seoul Trip - Wig Night and the Korean War Museum
This weekend a large contingent went to Seoul as a send-off for some of our homies who are heading back from whence they came. I wish I could say that we did more interesting things than drink in Itaewon Saturday night, but I'd be lying. The theme of the evening was "Wig Night," so a number of us were rocking wigs . . . some of us more successfully than others. I'd suggest that the highlight of the evening was Chris and me defeating some G.I. Schmoe at beer pong. This clown possessed possibly the worst sportsmanship I've ever seen.
We woke up the next morning in our 30,000 won a night "Love Motel" (read: "Hooker Place") and headed to the Rocky Mountain Tavern, a Canadian bar. For the first time in ages I had a Western-style breakfast, with toast, scrambled eggs, bacon, hash browns, baked beans, and O.J. The group then went our separate ways. Lon, Lisa, and I had time to kill before the Daejeon Citizen soccer game, so we headed to the nearby Korean War Memorial/Museum. Coincidentally, the cab driver who took us there was a Sergeant Major in the Korean War.
The museum is very impressive. Outside there are stunning monuments, airplanes including a B-52, and flags from every country that participated in the Korean War. This actually proved to be a recurring theme, as inside they also had exhibits representing all of these countries, even little old Denmark!
Inside the museum they had exhibits on the history of the Korean War obviously, but they also had examples of weaponry throughout Korean History. They had a couple of different shooting galleries as well, which perhaps sent the wrong message in a muesum about the horrors of war. This didn't stop me from trying them out. Twice. Equally confusing was the presence in one wing of some sort of kiddie amusement park. Helicopters and Bouncy Castles, together at last!
We spent about two and a half hours there, and found it well worth the paltry 3,000 won entrance fee. Then it was time to head out to meet Josh and check out the soccer game. Stay tuned, loyal viewers, for what promises to be the Must-Read Blog Of The Year!
More museum photos here.
We woke up the next morning in our 30,000 won a night "Love Motel" (read: "Hooker Place") and headed to the Rocky Mountain Tavern, a Canadian bar. For the first time in ages I had a Western-style breakfast, with toast, scrambled eggs, bacon, hash browns, baked beans, and O.J. The group then went our separate ways. Lon, Lisa, and I had time to kill before the Daejeon Citizen soccer game, so we headed to the nearby Korean War Memorial/Museum. Coincidentally, the cab driver who took us there was a Sergeant Major in the Korean War.
The museum is very impressive. Outside there are stunning monuments, airplanes including a B-52, and flags from every country that participated in the Korean War. This actually proved to be a recurring theme, as inside they also had exhibits representing all of these countries, even little old Denmark!
Inside the museum they had exhibits on the history of the Korean War obviously, but they also had examples of weaponry throughout Korean History. They had a couple of different shooting galleries as well, which perhaps sent the wrong message in a muesum about the horrors of war. This didn't stop me from trying them out. Twice. Equally confusing was the presence in one wing of some sort of kiddie amusement park. Helicopters and Bouncy Castles, together at last!
We spent about two and a half hours there, and found it well worth the paltry 3,000 won entrance fee. Then it was time to head out to meet Josh and check out the soccer game. Stay tuned, loyal viewers, for what promises to be the Must-Read Blog Of The Year!
More museum photos here.
고창현 - Free-kick God!
Daejeon Citizen winger Ko Chang-Hyun scored another brilliant free-kick in the game this weekend (much more on that later). He's definitely our best player, and there's a reason I bought his jersey. Below is a video of him scoring a trademark free-kick a few months ago. Better than Beckham!
More sweet goals here:
Friday, August 21, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
More Dubious Health Claims
As you may recall from a previous entry, kids frequently complain that the classroom is too cold. There's a reason we set the temperature the way we do. First, it's what we like. Second, it keeps the students awake. Third, little kids stink and air circulation is a must. I remember that in winter, I had a half day and arrived two hours into the first class. The stench as I walked in was overpowering. Elementary school B.O. mixed with fried squid and crab-flavored potato chips is an atrocity I would only wish on my worst enemies.
We were recently informed by our staff that some parents had complained that the temperature of the rooms was causing kids to get sick. Obviously, this is bull****. Cold weather doesn't make you sick, so a cool classroom won't do it either. The kids are getting sick because their parents make them go to school even if they are vomiting, as my colleague Jacob found out the hard way this week. The kids seem absolutely convinced, however, that it's the air conditioning and not bad parenting that makes them ill. I've given this lecture to various classes and none of them believe me. And just to totally blow their mind, I also drop the bomb than "fan death" is totally ridiculous.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Quoth the Raven
Last week one of our essays concerned the life of Edgar Allan Poe. At the end of class the Critical Thinking Project asked the students to imagine they were a reporter who had the chance to interview Poe. I realize right away that the students would not have sufficient knowledge of Poe's works or life to ask adequate questions ("Marrying your 13 year old cousin. What's up with that?").
Instead, I decided that the best way to discuss Poe was in the context of his most famous work, "The Raven." Now, some teachers might just put on the Simpsons Halloween Episode that dealt with the poem. I, however, am far crueler. I printed out 9 copies of the poem in the original 19th-century English, and went around the room having the students read stanza by stanza. At the end of each stanza, of course, I paraphrased for them so they could understand it (mercifully, nobody asked me what "balm in Gilead" means . . . I haven't a clue). Naturally, this lecture included a good deal of focus on the word "nevermore," being that it's repeated a dozen times in the poem.
The kids seemed to follow it pretty well. They understood that the narrator was mourning for Lenore, and they got that he was slowly descending into madness as the Raven explained he would never see her again. But of course, after we finished, some diligent student raised his hand and said:
"Teacher! I cannot understand 'nevermore.'"
Instead, I decided that the best way to discuss Poe was in the context of his most famous work, "The Raven." Now, some teachers might just put on the Simpsons Halloween Episode that dealt with the poem. I, however, am far crueler. I printed out 9 copies of the poem in the original 19th-century English, and went around the room having the students read stanza by stanza. At the end of each stanza, of course, I paraphrased for them so they could understand it (mercifully, nobody asked me what "balm in Gilead" means . . . I haven't a clue). Naturally, this lecture included a good deal of focus on the word "nevermore," being that it's repeated a dozen times in the poem.
The kids seemed to follow it pretty well. They understood that the narrator was mourning for Lenore, and they got that he was slowly descending into madness as the Raven explained he would never see her again. But of course, after we finished, some diligent student raised his hand and said:
"Teacher! I cannot understand 'nevermore.'"
An Apology to Maureen
Dear Maureen,
Six years ago I routinely made fun of you for living in Copenhagen for a year and failing to acquire any Danish beyond the swear words we used in your direction. However, having lived in South Korea now for eight months without gaining even a basic understanding of Korean, I owe you an apology. I'm sorry.
Sincerely,
James
Six years ago I routinely made fun of you for living in Copenhagen for a year and failing to acquire any Danish beyond the swear words we used in your direction. However, having lived in South Korea now for eight months without gaining even a basic understanding of Korean, I owe you an apology. I'm sorry.
Sincerely,
James
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
The Dedication Of Korean Students Never Ceases To Amaze Me
It's Saturday. It's 10AM. It's Korean Independence Day. And five of my six kids showed up.
Those Who Forget The Past . . .
Seven kids in my middle school class.
One of them knew what the Holocaust was.
F*** me.
One of them knew what the Holocaust was.
F*** me.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Awful Facial Hair Party On Saturday - Your Opinion?
For reasons that remain unclear, a number of gentlemen including myself have decided to grow out our beards for the last two weeks. This will all culminate in a massive debacle on Saturday, when we shave these beards into a variety of dubious facial hair styles. What do you think I should go for? I'm leaning towards the "Friendly Mutton Chops" or the "Winnfield."
http://www.yeeeeee.com/wp-content/2008/05/beardtypes1.jpg
http://www.yeeeeee.com/wp-content/2008/05/beardtypes1.jpg
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
I Can't Believe A GIRL Said This
Yesterday, was teaching my highest-level class, which as you would expect includes some rather clever children. Our lesson was on the evolution of the concept of a "hero," and we started with a reading on mythical Greek figures. To make sure they understood, I asked them what the Greeks considered to be the measure of a hero. One GIRL answered, "Removing heads brutally from the neck."
As being a great warrior was indeed an important quality in Greek mythology, and decaptitation was likely a part of being a great warrior, I praised her for her response.
As being a great warrior was indeed an important quality in Greek mythology, and decaptitation was likely a part of being a great warrior, I praised her for her response.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Maybe I Should Be Teaching Geography.
Lisa and I play in a weekly 6-a-side soccer game at the local park. The game is usually between a team of foreigners and a Korean team. Korean recreational soccer teams LOVE their uniforms. The guys we play against have full Barcelona kits, including shirt, shorts, and even socks. Other teams are decked out like Inter Milan, Real Madrid, and Manchester United.
Given the Park Ji-Sung connection, Man U is unsurprisingly the most popular. However, Spain jerseys are almost as common, probably because of their EURO 2008 victory. Curiously, I've seen Spain jerseys featuring a bizarrely high number of players who aren't actually Spanish. These include Robinho and Ronaldinho (both Brazilian), and even Steven Gerrard (English). However, I did spot the Spanish player Cesc Fabregas' name on a jersey . . . for Portugal.
I'm thinking of introducing some geography and demography into my lesson.
Given the Park Ji-Sung connection, Man U is unsurprisingly the most popular. However, Spain jerseys are almost as common, probably because of their EURO 2008 victory. Curiously, I've seen Spain jerseys featuring a bizarrely high number of players who aren't actually Spanish. These include Robinho and Ronaldinho (both Brazilian), and even Steven Gerrard (English). However, I did spot the Spanish player Cesc Fabregas' name on a jersey . . . for Portugal.
I'm thinking of introducing some geography and demography into my lesson.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
If I Had ₩100 For Every Kid Who Told Me Their Computer Was Broken When They Don't Do Their Homework, I'd Be A Millionaire
That sounds like a Morrissey song title.
Jesus Loves You, Everyone Else Thinks You're an Ass****
Right now one of my most obnoxious, ADD-addled kids is wearing a "Jesus Loves You" t-shirt. I'm half tempted to paraphrase Charles Barkley and ask him, "If God's so good, why didn't he give you an attention span?"
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Korean Kids Don't Understand Sarcasm
I think Korean kids are rather sheltered. They spend so much time in school and in after school academies that a lot of them lack social skills and a sense of humor. Yesterday was the level-up test, which obviously decides if they advance to the next level at my school. Partly to try to get them to relax a bit, and partly for my own amusement, I was on a roll with the sarcasm, but nobody seemed to get it.
The names have been changed to protect the oblivious.
Teacher James: "Tom, please clear your desk."
Only Kid In The Class Named Tom: "Me?"
TJ: "No, the other Tom."
Only Kid In The Class Named Tom: *Blank stare*
TJ: "Use your marker to fill out the test sheet."
Sally: *Holds up only marker on her desk* "This?"
TJ: "No, your other marker."
Sally: *Holds up pen* "This?"
TJ: "That's not a marker."
Sally: *Blank stare*
Billy: "Teacher, can we write in pencil?"
TJ: "I don't care. You can write in your own blood if you want to."
Billy: "So we can write in pencil?"
With 45 minutes remaining in the class
Alice: "Teacher, how long is the next test?"
TJ: "An hour and a half."
Class: "AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH"
Joe: "Teacher, Monica stole my bag."
TJ: "Wait, do you hear that? . . . That's the sound of me not caring."
Joe: "OK."
The names have been changed to protect the oblivious.
Teacher James: "Tom, please clear your desk."
Only Kid In The Class Named Tom: "Me?"
TJ: "No, the other Tom."
Only Kid In The Class Named Tom: *Blank stare*
TJ: "Use your marker to fill out the test sheet."
Sally: *Holds up only marker on her desk* "This?"
TJ: "No, your other marker."
Sally: *Holds up pen* "This?"
TJ: "That's not a marker."
Sally: *Blank stare*
Billy: "Teacher, can we write in pencil?"
TJ: "I don't care. You can write in your own blood if you want to."
Billy: "So we can write in pencil?"
With 45 minutes remaining in the class
Alice: "Teacher, how long is the next test?"
TJ: "An hour and a half."
Class: "AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH"
Joe: "Teacher, Monica stole my bag."
TJ: "Wait, do you hear that? . . . That's the sound of me not caring."
Joe: "OK."
Monday, August 3, 2009
Daegu Trip
Now that I've finally finished the Epic "Max's Visit" series, it's time to get back to more recent events, like our weekend trip to Daegu. It had been quite a while since we had made it to an away game, and Daegu is the worst team in the K-League so we were excited. Following our Saturday morning class, Lon and I met up with Lisa, ate some food, and headed to the train station. There, we ran into Liam, possibly the biggest foreign Daejeon Citizen fan there is. He made the trek from Seosan in the west and informed us that due to the holiday weekend the transportation situation was tricky. We weren't aware it was a holiday, as our school doesn't DO holidays. Indeed, the KTX was sold out of regular and standing-room tickets, leaving us with the horrible fate of having to ride first class. It's only 5,000 won more and comes with a ton of legroom and a complimentary water. I slept for the entire 45-minute journey so I didn't really get to enjoy it.
We arrived in Daegu to warm, beautiful weather: perfect for a soccer game. It was about 5:30, an hour and a half until kick-off, so we hopped into a taxi for the 30-minute ride out to Daegu World Cup Stadium (recently renamed Daegu Stadium). It's in a lovely area, surrounded by wooded hills and complete with a weird sculpture. On the inside, it's not quite so perfect. It's actually the largest of the Korean 2002 World Cup venues, bigger than Seoul even, but they have one of those ridiculous running tracks, which should be illegal in soccer stadiums as far as I'm concerned. They make it hard to get a good view of the game, and they don't help the already moribund atmosphere caused by the dire attendance. Really makes you appreciate Daejeon World Cup Stadium.
The game got off to a great start with Park Sung-Ho scoring an early brace (that's two goals for you Yanks), including the below penalty, our first of the season I believe. Daegu were absolutely shocking. DCFC is not a good team but we ripped them apart in the first half and looked like Brazil in the process.
The second half did not go nearly as well. We should have seen it coming given the bad omens at half time. First, we ran out of beer. Second, thanks to a combination of bad planning and the lack of a nearby ATM, we didn't have enough cash to buy beer in the stadium AND take a cab home, and we reluctantly decided that not sleeping in the stadium > beer. Finally, when we attempted to exit the stadium so we could make it to the convenience store and use my bank card, we found ourselves locked in the stadium.
Those portents of doom proved accurate when we pissed away our 2-0 lead in the second half. Having drawn 2-2 with the worst team in the league, we decided to check out Daegu nightlife. We asked around and found a hip-looking district, and the presence of other foreigners was encouraging. However, when we attempted to find a motel to drop of our stuff, we found them booked to capacity. The last one we checked out actually told us we shouldn't bother looking in that area. Damn holiday weekend.
It was getting close to the time when the KTX stops running, so we decided to cut our losses and head home. Sadly the only food establishment we could see in the train station was the wretched Lotteria, Korea's answer to McDonald's. I believe we spent the entire 45-minute train ride home complaining about how crappy the food was.
We arrived in Daegu to warm, beautiful weather: perfect for a soccer game. It was about 5:30, an hour and a half until kick-off, so we hopped into a taxi for the 30-minute ride out to Daegu World Cup Stadium (recently renamed Daegu Stadium). It's in a lovely area, surrounded by wooded hills and complete with a weird sculpture. On the inside, it's not quite so perfect. It's actually the largest of the Korean 2002 World Cup venues, bigger than Seoul even, but they have one of those ridiculous running tracks, which should be illegal in soccer stadiums as far as I'm concerned. They make it hard to get a good view of the game, and they don't help the already moribund atmosphere caused by the dire attendance. Really makes you appreciate Daejeon World Cup Stadium.
The game got off to a great start with Park Sung-Ho scoring an early brace (that's two goals for you Yanks), including the below penalty, our first of the season I believe. Daegu were absolutely shocking. DCFC is not a good team but we ripped them apart in the first half and looked like Brazil in the process.
The second half did not go nearly as well. We should have seen it coming given the bad omens at half time. First, we ran out of beer. Second, thanks to a combination of bad planning and the lack of a nearby ATM, we didn't have enough cash to buy beer in the stadium AND take a cab home, and we reluctantly decided that not sleeping in the stadium > beer. Finally, when we attempted to exit the stadium so we could make it to the convenience store and use my bank card, we found ourselves locked in the stadium.
Those portents of doom proved accurate when we pissed away our 2-0 lead in the second half. Having drawn 2-2 with the worst team in the league, we decided to check out Daegu nightlife. We asked around and found a hip-looking district, and the presence of other foreigners was encouraging. However, when we attempted to find a motel to drop of our stuff, we found them booked to capacity. The last one we checked out actually told us we shouldn't bother looking in that area. Damn holiday weekend.
It was getting close to the time when the KTX stops running, so we decided to cut our losses and head home. Sadly the only food establishment we could see in the train station was the wretched Lotteria, Korea's answer to McDonald's. I believe we spent the entire 45-minute train ride home complaining about how crappy the food was.
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