Beware of Dog

Most Koreans live in apartments, which influences their taste in pets. From what I can tell, cats aren't common, and any dogs they have tend to be small enough to fit in a teacup. Big dogs are very rare, and as a result they tend to be terrifying to Koreans. One of my fellow footballers has a good-sized rottweiler, who scares the crap out of the natives at the field, despite being a very friendly dog.

A rottweiler is one thing, but the fear reached hilarious proportions yesterday. Laura and I were out walking her dog, Genny. Laura rescued Genny from a shelter a few months ago. Genny had a lot of problems with her hip joints and could barely walk, but with Laura's care she's now running around very well. As you can see, she's hardly a giant, snarling beast:



Anyway, Genny ran up to say hello to a group of four Korean teenage boys. As she approached, two of them straight BOLTED in a full-on, flailing, screaming, spaghetti-armed sprint around the corner. I guess they won't be dialing 867-5309 any time soon.

I wished I had been able to tell them they were significantly less brave than the two 8-year-old girls who were enthralled with Genny a few days ago.

Don't Call it a Comeback . . . DCFC Has Been Here For Years

As you may recall, a few months ago I questioned whether or not I was attending my last Daejeon Citizen game. As we all know, I'm here longer than expected so the answer to that question is "no." The opening game of the season is at home against FC Seoul, the team who spanked us 3-0 last season. Liam and I shall be there, though we are of course sad that Lon and Lisa can't be with us (they're not dead, they just went back to Vegas).

Looking over the team roster (English version on Wikipedia), I was terrified that number 7 was not Free-Kick God Ko Chang-Hyun and feared that he had been sold. But no, he was simply issued shirt number 10, the traditional number of the playmaker on the team. Apparently Steven has departed for FK Habit Pharm Javor Ivanjica in Serbia. Brazilians Alle and Valber remain, and I'm sure we can look forward to lots of tricks and hilarious misses from them again. Liam's favorite player, Park Sung-Ho, remains, as does club captain and legend Choi Eun-Sung. I'm happy to see that manager Wang Sun-Jae, who worked miracles when he took over in the middle of last season, is still around.

Looking at the schedule, I'll have some good games before I depart. Jeju FC away is in mid-March, and I'll finally make a visit to Busan in May. I'll see the derby game at Suwon in May as well, though it looks like I'll miss both games against the hated Moonies of Seongnam.

I took a look at the online club shop. Luckily, the new shirt (which I will be buying ASAP) appears less pink than last year's model.



It's all very exciting, so please let me know if you're interested in going. Saturday, February 27, 3PM at World Cup Stadium in Daejeon.

A Valentine's Day Message . . . FROM THE FUTURE

Being that I am in South Korea, I am a few hours ahead of my friends in the States. As such, Valentine's Day has come and gone. And I offer the following advice to my fellow men . . . from the future . . .

GENTLEMEN, IF YOUR LADY SUGGESTS YOU SEE PERCY JACKSON AND THE LIGHTNING THIEF FOR VALENTINE'S DAY, DO NOT DO IT!!! IT IS THE WORST PIECE OF **** I HAVE SEEN SINCE GIGLI! RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

End Future James transmission.

This Product Shouldn't Exist

Last weekend, we tragically bid adieu to Lon and Lisa. Knowing them, it was no surprise that it was a fancy dress party. Laura was looking lovely in a gold dress (and of course Courtney was looking lovely too) . . .



. . . so I decided to accessorize with a gold tie.



Everything seems good, right? The gold matches the dress, and the charcoal accents match my suit. There's just one little problem . . .

IT'S A FAKE TIE!!!



Look, anybody who knows me knows that I wouldn't support this in normal circumstances, but this was the best match for the dress we could find. Fake ties should pretty much be limited to a young boy's First Communion, but I must say that this one is rather ingenious. It operates using a zipper, as you can see below:



A Korean-American friend of mine suggests this was invented so that massively-hungover businessmen could still manage to get their ties on the morning after a bender. Oh well. It cost me about $5 so I can't complain. And at least it isn't accented with sparkles like so many Korean ties.

Epic FailBlog: Korean Textbook

FailBlog featured a delightful image taken from a Korean textbook:



(Courtesy FailBlog.)

So obviously the chart is funny, but look at the directions above. "Listen to the word chant?" There are a lot of private English academies out there, and mine certainly would never give directions like that in their textbooks. I'm guessing this came from a Korean school. You'll notice as well that they've written the Korean phonetic equivalent above the English word. What they've written above "yak" actually sounds like "yah-kuh." Ditto "ak-suh." This is not a good way to learn English.

All of this is of course in addition to the fact that this doctor's office includes a zebra being x-rayed, a yak, and an ax. To quote the chart, "W2F?"

Marshall Mathers

A new kid just walked into my classroom. It's week 11 out of a 13 week term, so, that's stupid, but that's not really the point. I asked him if he has an English nickname he goes by. He does.

It's "Eminem."

Good News/Bad News

Good News:
We thrashed the Korean soccer team 16-10 on Sunday.
I scored twice.
Lisa got her first goal . . . left-footed no less!

Bad News:
It was Lisa's last game before she and Lon return to Las Vegas.

:-(

P.S. - I am now accepting applications for new Daejeon Citizen travel buddies.