Unhealthier than America: Delivery McDonald's

Look, you don't need me to tell you that McDonald's is bad for you. That's been plainly illustrated by Morgan Spurlock via his documentary Super Size Me. Korea has managed to take this debauchery to a whole new level, however, by taking Big Macs straight to your door:



This photo was taken on Jeju, but a similar fleet of motorbikes can be seen outside of most McDonald'ses (sp?) out here. I tried to order some breakfast one time when I was watching an early Bolton game. The dispatcher spoke some English, and I could read my address in Korean off of my alien registration card, but there was a breakdown in communication somewhere as it took about 90 minutes for my food to arrive, by which time it was cold. Perhaps it's for the best; otherwise I might be ordering it all the time, as the delivery charge is less than a dollar or so.

I used to think the drive-thru (sp?) was a testament to the fact that Americans are some of the laziest people on Earth, but with this development, you don't even have to waddle your fat arse out to the car. That's definitely Unhealthier than America.

In the Battle of the Sexes, a Voice of Reason

As I've mentioned in the past, Korean boys and Korean girls DO NOT like to work with each other. I always assign random project groups, and it's rather irritating to watch the boys and girls literally praying to God that they draw a same-sex group (I inform them politely that God has better things to do).

Today, one of my favorite students, the Machiavelli fan, seemed to have a breakthrough. A boy was in her project group and he was sighing and whining, as per usual. She responded by saying, "I really don't care. I think it's kind of stupid when boys and girls say they don't want to work with each other when they don't know about their personalities."

"That's very mature," I told her.

She replied, "I just don't like him as a person."

Not English 101

As I may have mentioned, the elite students at my hagwon read actual novels. Some of the better ones I have taught were Oliver Twist and To Kill a Mockingbird. A few terms ago, the course dealt with Shakespeare. While Shakespeare is undeniably great, I did question the value of teaching it to kids in Korea learning English as a second language. I pictured them walking into KFC in the States and saying, "Prithee retrieve thy finest spork, kind wench."

While the books this term are easier, I have been amused by the fact that we're reading The Secret Garden which, in addition to being extremely boring and poorly written, contains several characters who speak in a "broad Yorkshire" dialect. I just worry that the kids will read this excerpt and think normal people talk this way:

"Aye, that we mun . . . I'll tell thee what us'll do first . . . He's took a graidely fancy to thee. He wants to see thee and he wants to see Soot an' Captain. When I go back to the house to talk to him I'll ax him if tha' canna' come an' see him tomorrow mornin' - an' bring tha' creatures wi' thee - an' then - in a bit, when there's more leaves out, an' happen a bud or two, we'll get him to come an' tha' shall push him in his chair an' we'll bring him here an' show him everything."

What. The. Hell.

FBGM

As I was walking to get lunch today, I happened to pass by a Korean girl, perhaps 13 or 14 years old, who was wearing a sweatshirt emblazoned with the following slogan - without the asterisks:

F***
B****ES
GET
MONEY

I am NOT making this up.

I wish she had gone for the more palatable version:

Dunsan 6 - 2 Noeun

Dunsan 6 - 2 Noeun
Doering...........................Curd x 2
Martin x 2
Thorup
Pedersen
Miszkowski (O.G.)

Welcome to the Zoo

On Saturday, a number of us decided to have a little BBQ at a small park. It was a good time - beer, hot dogs, Frisbee, and football. As Alex was chucking the football around, a group of Korean girls (and one mortified looking boy) ran up to him and began requesting a photo with him. They then wandered over to our main picnic area and got their camera out. At first, it was kind of flattering; if they wanted photos with us, it was kind of like being a rock star.

However, they didn't actually want photographs WITH us. They wanted photographs OF us. They started hinting that they basically wanted photos of us acting how we would normally act, like "in our natural environment" or something. I'm sorry, but that's just insensitive. I did, however, get a picture with them.

Extracurricular Practice (Or Lack Thereof)

Some years ago, my father and I were attending a jazz concert featuring the legendary pianist Oscar Peterson. Also in the band was Niels-Henning Ørsted Pedersen (no relation), the great Danish bassist. Danish, as you may know, was my major in college, and I had recently returned from a summer in Copenhagen, where I actually saw Pedersen perform at the Louisiana Museum of Weird Pretentious S*** (this may or may not be the official name). Dad urged me to go speak to the bassist in Danish . . . I'm not entirely sure if my dad was just surprised at the coincidence and thought NHØP would like to hear about it, or if he was making sure he got his money's worth from all those university Danish classes. Maybe both.

Laura made an interesting observation about a month ago. She pointed out that, despite the ruinous amounts Korean parents spend on English classes, they rarely force their children to speak English to the foreigners on the street. Sure, kids will occasionally volunteer a few words here and there - usually just "Hi!" followed by rampant giggling. But I've never had a parent actually ask their kid to converse with me.

The thing is, while I initially resisted the pressure to talk to Niels-Henning, I'm glad I did, and I suspect he enjoyed it to. I kind of wish the kids would practice their skills with me . . . I would feel like the teaching I do is not in vain.